Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Where did the Motivation Go?
When I laid down for a nap I had James crawl into bed with me, then Margaret and finally Joseph. I had the three children in the bed with me and they were all playing with different things quietly. I thought about how much I would miss doing things like this with them. It is not that it can't ever happen but it will be rare. I will be gone to work and someone else will have to fill in for me. They will get to referee fights, fix meals and kiss boo-boos while I am gone. It makes me sad. I feel like my children still need me, especially Joseph, but I have to leave them with a stranger while I try to make money to support us. I have enjoyed my day with the children even though I should have been packing.
I called UCLA, still nothing! I cannot believe I can't make an appointment to get this muscle biopsy done. I am furious! At this rate I will not be able to get it done before I leave town. Sigh! I SO wanted to get this done. Then I had a call from the endocrinologist and I just cancelled the appointment. He is only giving thyroid medicine to Joseph and to be honest he is not my favorite doctor so I am not too disappointed. Tonight I will be looking for doctors in the Phoenix area and calling to make appointments.
Life trudges on. I have no idea what is coming but the future will one day become my present and I guess I will not have to wonder what it will hold for me any longer because I will be living it!