Friday, August 31, 2012

Yard Sale!

So tomorrow I will drag out as much as I can out of my house and try to sell everything I can part with.  I cannot afford to move it to Arizona and I am not even certain I will be able to afford to move it to a storage room here.  Since I am still having problems with my right hand from the carpal tunnel surgery it is difficult to do a lot of lifting or much of anything else that involves a lot of use of my hand.  The scar from the surgery still looks bad, is red and inflamed and there is a lot of scar tissue under the scar making the incision painful.  I will do the best I can though tomorrow.  I have a TON of kids clothes I can sell plus a lot of household miscellaneous furniture.  I am hoping to raise at least $100.  That would be great! 

On the positive front I did get a call from UCLA and get a UCLA patient number for Joseph.  I was told the doctor will review Joseph's medical records and decide if he is going to take his case or not.  The doctor's office has until September 7th to get back with me and set an appointment.  Otherwise they will be hearing from me EVERYDAY until they get back with me.  I need to get this muscle biopsy done BEFORE we move. 

I still have no idea HOW I am going to make the move and hold over in Arizona until I can start my job AND get a paycheck.  I am trying hard not to panic over it.  I spoke to my father about my financial concerns today and mentioned that I was facing a $400 electrical bill and I had NO idea how to pay it.  I also need to move and I was not sure where that money was going to come from and I have little to no food in the house and not a lot of gas in the car.  Then I told him I was told by the doctor who did my hand surgery that he wanted me to go to physical therapy twice a week to help increase the strength in my hand, help with the scar pain, stretching the skin, and try to break up the scar tissue BUT I could not afford it since it would cost me a $20 co-pay each time I went and there is NO way I can justify spending $120 a month on the therapy when I need to spend a $20 co-pay to see my family doctor so I can get a refill of an important maintenance medication for me (which will cost $10 to get filled).  At the end of the conversation my sister called so I was told he had to talk to her but he said, "Yep. you have a lot of logistics to figure out for your move."  So I take this as he is not going to help financially. Not to mention my birthday is on the 4th and there was no mention of giving me money for my birthday (hoping that will still happen).  In the meantime I NEED this yard sale to have money to live.  I have $40 to my name right now that I can spend.  Other than that there is NO more money until September 10th.  I have half a roll of toilet paper in my house, not a lot of food and not much in the way of prospects.  I was luck enough to sell Joseph's crib today so I was able to order pizza when James asked for it today.  He never asks for things like that so it was nice when I could say OK and place an order with Papa Johns. 

On the other hand I have felt horrible when Margaret has been asking me for Hello Kitty stuff.  I know she, somehow, got a Hello Kitty doll.  She LOVES it!  So I thought I would look for some bedding stuff for her because I would like to upgrade her to a twin bed.  She saw me internet "window" shopping and asked when I was going to get her Kitty.  You have NO idea how this tore me up because, being autistic, she does not directly ask for things very often and when she does I try really hard to get it for her. 

The other day I was in Target and I saw a Hello Kitty twin comforter for $35.  It was adorable!  I wanted it SO bad for her but I knew I did not have the money.  I COMPLETELY understand why some people steal when it comes to giving things to their children.  To have your child look at you wanting something so desperately and knowing you cannot get it for them.  Yet the item in question is close at hand in the local store.  It is just a matter of taking it.  I understand the desire, I really do, but it is poor impulse control to steal and take it.  I left the store misty eyed knowing the comforter she wanted was so close but SO far out of my reach.  I am hoping I will be able to get it for her birthday in December.   Some days are SO hard at the moment.  I just have to remember that I can, no I HAVE, to make it until the end of November.  By Thanksgiving I truly will have something to be grateful for since I will have a job and be earning money. 

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