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I put the children to bed and then stayed up for awhile. I sat and reminisced about the happy and sad moments of my marriage over the last 13 years. PITA freely admits that he has spent the last few years treating me badly in the hopes I would leave. Who even does that to a person? For the sake of us, our marriage and the children I am willing to try and work things out. I had asked and asked about going to couples therapy but PITA has said no. He has told me that I cannot stay at his place, even if I lose my job because I cannot find a sitter, and he cannot stand to be around me. It appears he has written me off and has moved on. I wish I could just as easily.
Typically I think of 13 as my lucky number. The babies were born on the 13th and I tend to have good luck on Friday the 13th. If I take that and extend it to this year then 2013 should be a good year for me. I hope it will be and I will try my best to make it so! I deserve to have some happiness and to find someone who wants to be with me AND my children. Here's to 2013 and all the possibilities it holds!