Is It Sunday All Ready?

When the children are not here my weekends fly by SO fast!!!  I was packing last night for while and I got side tracked.  As I was pulling out boxes and looking through things I found a brown manila envelope.When I looked into it I started to cry.  I had COMPLETELY forgotten about this packet of information the hospital sent me regarding Martha's death.  It had her record of birth, baptism certificate, hand and footprints, snippet of her hair and some pictures the NICU nurses took of her.  I cried and cried.  I don't remember ever seeing these pictures.  I might not have until now.  I got the envelope just after she passed away and it was just too much for me to deal with.  Her hand prints are so tiny a half dollar would easily cover them up. She was just so small.  They all were at birth! I included one of the pictures the nurses took on Martha's page.   I spent the rest of my evening crying and scanning in the pictures and documents.



At the start of the weekend John had asked me for some more Pedisure for Joseph  and Margaret.  I said ok.  I gave him one case of the Pedisure.  That is 4 6-packs.  He took my car this weekend since I was not ready to move.  So I was left with his car.  The front and back seats were FULL of stuff.  The floorboard of the passenger's side of the car was filled with food trash up to the height of the seat.  When I stopped to fill up his car I cleaned the floorboard out.  I filled up the trash can at the gas station!  Then I filled up his car with gas.  The total came to about $50. I thought it was no big deal since I would just ask him to pay me for the gas that was left in the car when I gave it back to him.  I ran around town and on Sunday I went to the grocery store to get what groceries I could on WIC and pick up a few other things.  One of the WIC items is the 30 6-packs of Pedisure.  I got it from the store and went to put the 7.5 cases in John's car.  I opened John's trunk and I find 2 cases and a 6-pack of Pedisure in there.  I have him that Pedisure over a month ago.  So that means the milk-based Pedisure has been in his trunk, in the heat, for the last month.  I would not feed it to the children!  So he has ruined 9 6-packs of the Pedisure.  That makes me SO mad when he knows we will be losing WIC in December because the children will turn 5 years old. I cannot afford to buy the Pedisure myself.  It costs about $10 per 6-pack!  So he essentially wasted $90.  It makes me SO mad I am thinking about asking him to pay me the money so I can go buy some more!  Plus what has John been feeding Margaret and Joseph over the last two months when they have been over there?

Then tonight I forgot to talk to him about the gas in his car. I message him.  I ask him for $25 since I left a little more than half a tank of gas in the car.  At first he did not believe me that I put it in there.  I showed him the charge on my account.  Then he tried to tell me I made a "poor decision" by putting the gas in the car.  What "poor decision" did I make?  Trusting that he would be fair and pay me the money for the gas left in his car?  He did finally agree to give me the money but he is not going to pay me now.  He said I would have to wait until his next pay check.  Why is that?  He would have had to put money in his car for gas to get to work.  Now I have to wait when he knows I do not have money?  Whatever! Last time I try to do something nice.  I will just leave him his car in the condition I found it. If it's empty I will leave it empty.

This week I have to be more productive in packing but that should be easier because we really do not have any more doctor or therapy appointments.  We have the blood draw EARLY in the morning on Tuesday but otherwise I think our week is pretty clear this week. I will be lining things up for the garage sale.  Got to sale what I can for the money!

Thursday night when John came over to see the children I told him about Joseph having a lump on the back of his neck (swollen lymph node), foul smelling breath and sore on his bottom gum under the front teeth we had pulled.  He never even asked how Joseph was doing or what was going on!  I took Joseph to the dentist on Friday at noon.  I was smart this time and took a change of clothes for Margaret remembering how she vomited all over the place last time I took her to the dentist for Joseph's appointment.  We get there and Margaret crawls into the chair whining...lol.  The dental assistant and I told her to get out of the chair.  The assistant said, " Get out of the chair Margaret before you get sick."  LOL  I put Joseph in the chair. The dentist came in and looked at Joseph and she declared the sore in Joseph's mouth is a canker sore.  If you look at possible causes of canker sores it can be an autoimmune issues and/or a vitamin or mineral deficiency (iron, folic acid or vitamin B-12).  Very interesting when these are some of the symptoms I have mentioned before that concern me about Joseph.  Margaret did good too because she never got sick.  Makes me SO happy not to clean barf!

When I get the children from John tonight John said the kids were all fed and full.  I always fix them something to eat anyways but they rarely eat much.  Tonight I had fixed James a large cup of some Gatorade and Joseph and Margaret a bottle.  They immediately drank it.  I fixed them another cup and bottle.  They drank it too. I was surprised!  They seemed like they were dehydrated or something.  Then I asked James if he would like some pizza.  Papa Johns was running a special where you could buy $10 worth of stuff from them and then get a free large pizza.  What a great deal!  I was able to get two medium pizzas with three toppings and have the ability to get a large three topping pizza later for free.  Since James LOVES pizza I know this will make him happy!  I asked if he would like a slice of pizza.  He said yes.  I thought he would only eat one piece.  He ate the first piece and then asked for a second.  I was surprised but gave it to him.  He came back and asked for a THIRD piece!  I had given a slice to Margaret and she was not eating it so I told James he could have her slice.  The next thing I know James asked for a FOURTH piece!  I told him no!  I said he had three pieces and he had eaten as much as mommy had so he could have no more.  He was sad about it and argued for a bit but he gave up.  He had NEVER tried eating so much pizza before!  For someone who was suppose to have been fed he was starving!

When I went to change Margaret's and Joseph's diaper tonight they both have a red booty.  So I asked John what happened.  He said he had no idea.  I also asked why there was a large bruise on James' head.  I was told James was running around the house and ran into Joseph.  I am not sure where Joseph was bonked in the head but James was very evident with the huge bruise!

So in one weekend I get the children back and they seem dehydrated, hungry and bruised/rashes.  What in the world was John doing this weekend with the children???  It seems like they were neglected (at least today) and not being supervised very well.  I am glad to have them back home!

News Bits

Photo Credit:  realfoodforager.com

Autism may be an autoimmune problem.  In an Opinion piece from the New York Times titled An Immune Disorder at the Root of Autism.  Moises Velasquez-Manoff believes that 1/3 (or more) of cases of autism look like a type of inflammatory disease.  She believes it starts in the womb. In a Denmark study woman who were hospitalized for a viral infection during the first trimester tripled their odds of having a child with autism. A bacterial infection during the second semester increases the changes by 40 percent.  It is not viral or bacterial infections causing the problem but the inflammatory response of the mother's body. Autoimmune disorders also increase the risk.  Mothers with rheumatiod arthritis have an 80 percent chance of having a child with autism and women with celiac disease increase their risk by 350 percent!  The rise in inflammatory and autoimmune diseases is the reason Velasquez-Manoff believes there has been a rise in autism over the last 60 years.  What I found interesting is the cause for the rise of autoimmune and inflammatory disorders Velasquez-Manoff proposes.  What an interesting article!
________________________________________________________________________

An article published yesterday in Molecular Psychiatry titled Predicting the diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder using gene pathway analysis has gotten some people really excited.  The researchers claim to have found a genetic test that can accurately predict the likelihood of a person having autism spectrum disorder (ASD) 71 percent of the time in Central European subjects.  The test involves the use of 237 single -nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs)  in 146 genes.  The test is less accurate with other ethnic groups but over time the researchers are hoping to improve the accuracy.  A reader friendly version of the article can be found HERE.
________________________________________________________________________

Amy Becker recently published an article titled We Didn't Run Away.  At first when I started to read the article I was dismayed.  I was upset because when she found out she was having a child with Down's Syndrome she was devastated.  I know it is all about perspective.  I understand the shock of having a child and realizing that the child you were dreaming about is never going to happen.  It is a hard pill to swallow at first. There are worse things that could happen though.  She could have lost her child like I did my dear Martha.  No, I do not wish that to happen to anyone.  The pain and guilt is devastating!  It is only an example on how things could have been worse. Another thing is to have a child that is low functioning (severe intellectual and developmental delay) .

While waiting at the neurologist's office one day I saw a fully grown man wheeled in by his elderly parents.  The parent's spent time trying to talk to their son but he was rather unresponsive except for the few grunts he made.  While sitting there I saw them wipe drool off his chin several times.  It made me realize that things could be worse.  That Joseph, the "sickest" of my children, could be MUCH worse off than he is and I was very grateful for the child I had.  

I was talking to a friend recently.  He knows about my troubles and that I am potentially facing homelessness with my children.  He asked how I am doing.  I told him fine under the circumstances.  He said, "Things can't get much worse can they?"  I said, "In my experience things can ALWAYS get worse.  I never say it can't get any worse because it will.  I have been lucky because so far I am still alive. If I die then things would definitely be worse!"  LOL   To me death is the ultimate worse thing to happen to someone!  If I am still breathing then I can make it though to the other side of what ever I am struggling with and things will be better.  The same is true for special needs children.  You never say it's a bad thing to be the parent of a special needs child.  You spend a moment to mourn the loss of your dream child and then celebrate the child and life you have been given.  As the sign says, "You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it!" My children are a blessing to me because I have learned a lot from them!  At the end of Becker's story she found this to be true too.
_________________________________________________________________________

There are a couple of there things I found interesting today but I will save them for tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed the news bits!