Countdown to Homelessness: 9 Days

Photo Credit: pective.com

Who needs a daytime soap opera when you can just read about my life?  Isn't my life at least as interesting as a soap opera?  The only difference is my life is oh SO very real!   There is no one to say, "Cut!  Time for an edit. Let's get the writers together and redo this script!"  It would be nice if that were true.  Or better yet the Easy button from Staples.  If that thing really worked I would get my hands on one now!  LOL    After having my mini-meltdown yesterday I am better.  How could I not be when James is worried about me?

James saw me crying this morning.  Our conversation went something like this...

James: Why are you sad mommy?
Me:  I was just reading something on the computer James and it made me sad.  It's ok. (I lied but the truth is too complex to explain and it is not something for him to worry about.)
James: Don't be sad.  It will be better tomorrow.  (Don't know where he got that from!)
Me: It will be, won't it James!
James: Yes. I'm gonna give you a BIG hug.  I just love you everyday.  (That all most made me cry again...lol)

James can be a terror but he does have such a sweet side to him.  It's amazing!

I got myself together and stopped by the welfare office.  I was not kicked out but that was because I was not there long.  I was told I had to fill out the application form.  It is 20 pages or so.  I had to bring back some proof that John was no longer in the house with me (since we are still legally married), everyone's birth certificates and social security cards, my bank statement, proof of SSI benefits, title to my car and I can't even remember what else.  I got a list...lol.  I knew I would not get any help from them soon for my electric.  My electric was going to get shut off Monday.

I called the electric company.  I spoke to a lady there and she said I had to pay the past due balance of $407.00 by Monday or it was going to get shut off.  I told her I only had $70 to my name.  The soonest I would have any money is the 25th.  She said she could give me until the 28th to pay but I would have to pay half the total balance.  So by the 28th I have to pay about $360.00.  At most I will get $700 from John so that will take at least half of my money until the first of the month.  Then I will get the social security disability for the children and I will have $625 to get to Phoenix, have food, gas and a place to live until the 10th.  I need about $200 for food and diapers, $100 at least for gas so that leaves me $300 for a place to live. Impossible, no, but VERY difficult!  This does not take into account moving or storing any of our stuff.

Photo Credit: OneYearBibleBlog.com

The lady at the electric company said I should call 211 (the state number for referring to community services).  I called the 211 number and told the operator that I needed help with energy assistance.  The operator was straight up and said, "I am sorry but the community partners we refer people to are out of money.  You can call back next month and see if any of them will have any money then."  I am feeling like my life is the Story of Job.  I very much feel like this verse on the right.  I will complain because I have lost all hope.  What else beside complaining do I have?

I still have not heard back from the lady at the regional center here.  I am glad she is so concerned about me and my family.  The days are counting down.  There still is no plan.  My life rather sucks at the moment.

On the way to homelessness?

I have been having fun tonight listening to the wind howl.  A storm is moving into Vegas tonight and with it the wind speed picks up.  There are gusts out there at LEAST 50 mph!  The wind chime is going crazy outside!  Careful, wind chime noise in video is LOUD!

John got paid so he gave me $700 to pay bills.  This is more than he has to give me so that is nice.  I have the following bills to take care of:

Photo Credit: thesite.org

• $400 electric
• $100 credit card (I had all ready missed one payment)
• $85 credit card (same with this one)
• $40 health club membership (haven't even been going at all since we split up)
• $50 cellphone (only phone I have)
• $100 gas (will last my 15 passenger van about 2 weeks if I don't really go out much)
• $100 food (that is two weeks worth for 4 people (me and the kids)
• Other bills that may come up are water, gas, internet. 

I know, I have WAY exceeded the allowance I was given so what do I do?  I cannot continue to eat Ramen and popcorn for dinner.  WAY too much salt for me and not good for you in general.  Got to do food and gas.  So that is $200.  Got to pay at LEAST $200 to electric.  So that is $400.  Got to pay for phone!  MUST have a phone so that is another $50.  So that pays out $450 leaving me $250.  About to forget.  Got to get a case of diapers for Margaret and Joseph.  That is $40.  Plus I have two doctor appointments I need to go to.  That is $40.  So we are at $530.  Need a $70 copay to take Joseph to the pulmonologist.  I have the extra high co-pay because I had to miss the appointment last time because John forgot to give me the money before he left for work that day.  That makes $600.  There is an IEP meeting scheduled for Joseph and it would cost $100 for the advocate to be there.  I do NOT have the money for all of this!  I am not sure what I am going to do!  I think I will have to cancel the IEP and try to do one in Arizona when we get there.  I will have to see if I can find an advocate and how much they would cost.  I cannot be trusted to attend one of those meetings alone.  I am just too emotional and hot-headed.  I wind up saying things that I occasionally regret.  So I could easily spend all the money and still not even pay a lot of the bills I know about. Sigh!  This is why I am SO upside down on everything.  : (   

Photo Credit:  http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com    
Is this going to be us at the end of September?

I am in trouble!  Never, growing up in a middle class family, did I ever think my life would wind up like this.  I have been losing so much hair lately.  I am certain it is from stress.  What I am NOT stressed out about lately???  Moving?  How is it going to happen?  How am I going to afford to move my things?  What about getting a storage room for a bit (more money I forgot to add to my list of needs)?   How am I going to get my stuff to Arizona since I am the only adult driver and I cannot tow my van?  If I take my stuff where am I going to put it? What about money for gas to even drive there?  Am I going to truly wind up homeless?  If so where am I and the children going to go?  Can we live out of the van?  What about getting services for the children?  What about food?  What about child care?  I will not have money to pay anyone really until two weeks AFTER they have been watching my children. Since Joseph is medically fragile he cannot be in a daycare or school setting. So where does this leave me???  Plus James and Margaret cannot go to school because they would get sick and bring it home to Joseph.  This is why I have been home with them for the last several years.  This is by far the most balls-to-the-wall sort of thing I have ever done!  I have to make it to Arizona to take this job!.  If I have ANY hope of making my little family self-sufficient then I need, MUST HAVE, this job!  

The children have been driving me crazy because they are getting into everything.  I can't blame them really.  I have stuff pulled out all over the place.  They are fascinated by it.  Why shouldn't they be? James and Margaret were getting into all kinds of stuff, broke a couple of things and were not listening.  In the end I yelled at them and then broke down crying.  I cried in front of my children and the poor kids did not know how to handle it.  James was trying to be nice at that point and he gave me a hug and said he would not make a mess again.  That was SO sweet!  I shouldn't be crying in front of them.  It was just too much today. I am so worried.  When I talked to John about it he said not to worry that I would be able to figure something out.  Often, I would agree with him.  On the other hand I am getting really worried. 

I am still trying to pack things but it is hard with the children here and no one here to help me distract them.  After that my hand is the next big hurdle.  I have come to the conclusion it will never be right. The only good news from the carpal tunnel surgery is that my hand no longer falls asleep when I use it.  It hurts instead (sometimes very painfully) but in some ways that is better because I still have some kind of feeling in my hand.  Just makes packing difficult because I have a hard time moving boxes.  

I was having fun reminiscing over some old video clips of the children.  This is video of the kiddos when they were two.  Joseph is having fun and getting so tickled with what he is doing. He has SUCH a great laugh in this video!  You can also see James count (and sign) and Margaret sing her A, B, Cs .

Yummy Recipes, Vaccines and Other Things

Today I went to the doctor and have him look at my hand.  The scar from the carpal tunnel surgery is VERY sensitive and there is a lot of scar tissue forming under the scar.  It hurts!  :(    In talking to the docotor he said he thought I was healing ok still but I find that debatable.  He recommended therapy to help  decrease the sensitivity of the scar and to break up the scar tissue.  I thought this was a great idea and make an appointment.  I just realized this evening that I could not pay for the therapy because each therapy session I to pay my $20 co-pay.  This SUCKS!  So I will just have to do what I can to increase the flexibility and strength in my hand.

Joseph's Medical Summary Letter

I went to the pediatrician today.  I had worked on a medical summary letter for each of the children as a rough draft for the doctor.  Took me about 2 hours for all three children. I think a medical summary letter is fantastic when you have a child with a long and complex medical history. You can pull the letter out and just hand it to another doctor to give them a quick run down on all the medical issues of your child.  Here is an example of Joseph's letter.  (if the type is too small hit CTRL and the + sign 3 or 4 times to enlarge the font).  When I got to the doctor's office I figured out I was an idiot and FORGOT to burn a disk with the letters to give the doctor's office.  Ugh!!!  I did remember to take the WIC forms to get Margaret and Joseph their Pedisure AND I got the right form filled out to get a handicap plate for my car.  It will make taking the kids out MUCH easier in some places.  The doctor was funny.  He said which child is this for since all of them could qualify.  LOL  That was both a funny and sad statement!  I got the permit for Joseph though.  I also got the information I needed sent off to to the medical supply company to get Joseph's wheelchair.  That will be SUPER helpful!  So I did pretty did pretty good today.

Just as a quick note to people in Nevada applying for a handicap plate or placard for their minor child here are the instructions on what to do.  I called the Nevada DMV twice and waited over 30 mintues on the phone for this information because I could not find it online...lol.  IF you call talk to the Special Plates Department.  Their number for the Las Vegas area is 702-486-4368 and them wait for the options and press 2, 1, and then 5.  That should get you to Special Plates.

Online you go to the Nevada DMV page for handicap plates.  Download form SP27 Applications for Disabled Persons License Plates/Placards. Once have the form you fill it out for the child you want the plate for by putting their name and address on the form. The Nevada Driver's License or Identification Number you leave blank.  For Signature of the Applicant the parent signs the form and puts in parentheses minor child.  This lets the DMV know the child will not be on the registration of the car nor have a driver's license number.   Just have the doctor fill out the medical portion and you are all done!  I just saved you at least 10 minutes on the phone.  : )

While I was at the doctor's office the doctor mentioned getting the kids vaccinated for the flu. I just brushed it off.  He is right though in one thing.  I LOVE the kids pediatrician and he is a VERY cool doctor but he is in a VERY busy practice and he mentioned that over the winter he sees a lot of super sick children.  Just taking them to the doctor's office  during the winter would be putting them at risk of catching something. It makes me worried.  I worry EVERY winter about the children and in particular Joseph.

Speaking of vaccines there is a great article by Marcella Piper-Terry saying vaccines do not cause autism.  At first I thought, "What?!?!" Then I read the article and it all made sense.  Basically the article states that vaccines do not cause autism but a host of other illnesses and conditions that are the underlying conditions of autism.  Really great read!  Then another great article by Moises Velasquez-Manoff was published in the New York Times Opinion Section called An Immune Disorder at the Root of Autism.  The article has some sad information talking about the immune system of the mother attacks the child in the womb.  Autoimmune disorders significantly increase the chances of having a child diagnosed with autism.

Blog to mention is the Naked Kitchen.  Like Jamie Oliver's Food Network show Naked Chef the blog is about keeping food whole and simple.  It is a great blog with LOTS of good and healthy recipes!  Speaking of recipes I came across a great little recipe for making pizza dough.  SUPER simple and I am looking forward to trying this!

Two Ingredient Pizza Dough

• 1 cup Self Rising Flour
• 1 cup of Greek or natural yogurt

In a bowl combine flour and yogurt.  Stir until it forms a ball (might be a good job for a heavy duty mixer). Remove dough and turn out onto FLOURED board.  Knead dough for at least 5 to 8 minutes until the dough is nice and pliable and stretchy.