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PITA said he had come to the realization that if he was going to be the moral and spiritual compass of the family as God intended then he had to step up and work things out with me to get his family back. He said, "I want you and the children to come home." I cried. This is what I had been waiting and wanting to hear.
Has a miracle happened? Has God answered MY prayers so we can be a family again? I am hopeful but cautiously optimistic. I am wanting this to be real. For PITA to be serious about wanting to be with children and I. I cannot immediately return to PITA and Vegas because there are people here relying on me plus I have a lease. I am not sure what to do about the lease issues. It is all logistics but I want to go home. Home to PITA, Vegas and being a mom.
Wow!! My head would be exploding right about now with all you're having to process and decide. I got nothing else...just wow.
ReplyDeleteTrust me Brandi when I say I feel like it is going to explode too. I want to go back but I have to make sure I pace myself. That this is for real. Then I have the people who rely on me here, my job, the children and other that I cannot just leave. I said it may be summer before I can come and maybe later than that. Just to know PITA is wanting to seriously try and work things out is exciting to me.
DeleteYou can usually get out of a lease but has to pay... Like our current lease we would have to pay 800 to get out of it... Just read you lease and see... Good luck I hope it all works out for the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan! I want to go but on the other hand I can't leave either. The lease is one issue. There are others. I am going to wait a bit and see what I can do about the lease.
DeleteMichelle, PLEASE PLEASE try this with him. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I am separated from my husband going on over a year and a half and if he EVER came to the realization that he needed for us to reconnect as a family and be the SPIRITUAl headhold of our family I would go in an instant. He has not been kind and we have hurt each other terribly in the past. I believe it is possible to heal. It would not be easy (OMG do we all have ammunition to start fights???), but it really is the best for everyone especially when sweet children are involved. My MOST HEARTFUL "good lucks" to you and your beautiful children. I will be following your posts with great anticipation to see how this all ends up. Much love...
DeleteWow! Michelle, I sincerely hope this is your miracle :) I also think maybe the summer move decision is a great one. You can do some long-distance therapy and try to make as smooth transition as possible. From what I've read, you might also need to take time to do some forgiving. But still, such hopeful news!!
ReplyDeleteIs there no way your husband can move out to join you instead? The stability for the children is important and if things don't turn out the way you hope, you'll be moving them around multiple times and if you leave your job, you'll also be unable to support your kids again and may have to move once more. Be very careful. I really hope things work out in the best way possible. My love is with you and your kids.
ReplyDeleteI really wonder if you understand what your husband is doing for you and your family. It seems to me that he is doing the work while you just criticize every effort he is making. I do hope that things will work out with you two, but have to wonder if you are doing anything to help make that happen. He had to have moved out of your house for a reason, it wasn't just him in your marriage, there has to be work from both of you to get results if it is to work out. You keep saying that he seems to have changed, but I don't see anything that shows you are doing anything to help the situation. By continually putting him down and not listening to what he has to say (as an example this blog, which he doesn't want you talking about him, also seems he has come to visit you and the kids, but you haven't tried to go to him) it doesn't really seem like his feelings matter to you at all. Maybe instead of putting him down you give him a reason to feel like he matters to you. It takes two people to make a marriage work I just hope you are willing to put in the hours to help make that happen-maybe while deciding on logistics of where and when you and he should look into doing some therapy separately before moving to that point, then doing some together once that happens. I sincerely hope that you and he can be happy and things will work out I just don't believe it is all on him the way you make it out to be. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou are not aware of all the facts. First, there is me going to him. I work all day and then come home to the children. I take care of them all the time and I am tired. Plus the children do not travel well. Margaret in particular does not travel well. Whereas, PITA is only travelling by himself and that makes travel MUCH easier!
DeleteSecond, I am truthful in my blog but ALL the facts in the blog are not ALL there is to say. I keep a LOT of information out of the blog to protect PITA and preserve his privacy. From the information posted on the blog I can see your point. If you knew ALL the facts of my situation I am certain you would NOT still feel the same.
Third, I have been doing things to try and make contact and to build a bond with PITA. I had such a nice time with him that I told him tonight on the phone that I am missing him. That is a really great sign. It has been a long time since I have felt that way.
Overall, we are working on our relationship and I am doing my share too. Make NO mistake that I am trying also!
I am happy to hear there are other facts that you do not put on this blog and I hope that your relationship will work out the way God has planned. I understand there are at least 2 sides to every situation, but if I was reading your side on here it just makes it seem horrible. I sincerely hope that I am wrong in my thinking, because I cannot imagine what will happen if both of you don't work together. If you do miss him and have enjoyed spending time with him and the changes he has made to make things better, maybe PITA deserves another name on here now? Praying for you all in this situation and for God to guide you in the direction He wants this to go. Again, I wish you luck.
ReplyDeleteThere are two sides to every situation. From MY point of view the relationship we had was horrible. PITA even admits to being a terrible husband to me for the last few years and was trying hard to make my life hell so I would leave. As you can imagine, being in that situation for years, is VERY trying on ANY person. Yet I stayed. I stayed even though life was horrible. I kept hoping things would change. That PITA would change and/ or go to therapy with me.
DeleteAs for the name ... PITA is not bad. I definitely could have called him a lot worse. He is a pain in my a** still. Will probably always be . I am certain he could say the same for me. When I am allowed to use his name on here again I will otherwise PITA it will be.
I notice that that you are listed as anonymous. My feeling is that you are either a friend or family to PITA. He has various people in his life who read my blog. Remember that my blog is my personal view about what is happening to ME and my children. What I put in here, my opinion, my point of view, is all that is going to be represented here. If you are reading the blog for anything more than that you are going to be disappointed.