Random Thoughts and the Powerball

Photo Credit: Georgia.gov

I have been trying to get a post up but there always seems to be a problem of some sort. I have good intentions but it is just not happening so I am going to give up and start writing the posts during my break and lunch at work. What else am I going to do?

Thanksgiving was nice. I spent about $300 in groceries and was able to fill the refrigerator and pantry with food. I like when that happens! For Thanksgiving day I cooked turkey, sweet potato casserole and green bean casserole. Bailey and her grandfather were there too. Bill stayed busy Thanksgiving day decorating the house with Christmas lights and putting up the tree. Bailey was my assistant and she helped me cook while I was showing her what I was doing. The next day I deboned the turkey and made two large pans of stuffing long with turkey and dumplings. The turkey and dumplings came out SUPER good! YUM!!! The next day I made some pasties (I think I spelled that right…LOL). It is basically a pot pie that you can hold in your hand or maybe a savory turnover. It is pie crust that has been cut and sealed. The filling was ground beef, carrots, celery and potato. It is yummy! That night, with Bailey’s help, I made enchilada casserole. I left the black beans out (because I forgot :(  ) but it was still VERY yummy and Margaret stuffed her face. That girls LOVES Mexican food!

Photo Credit: Fanpop.com

At work an email went out for people to adopt a child for Christmas (Angel Tree). I could have signed us up but instead I picked out a child to adopt for Christmas. As poor as we are, lacking furniture, and a lot of other things I am thankful we have made it to Arizona and I have a job. The little girl is three and her wish was to have Hello Kitty – anything. At the moment Margaret is SO into Hello Kitty that this Christmas wish just stuck out to me. I had already seen a lot of things that were Hello Kitty at Target for a dollar. I had picked Margaret up a few of the things. So I went back before everything was gone and got some more for our Angel. I will also pick up a pillow or throw. 

I have to buy the children stuff for Christmas. It is so hard because there really is no furniture in the house but on the other hand the children’s birthday (Dec. 13th) AND Christmas are coming. John has only come out once to see the children so far. He asked me if I was going to bring them up to Vegas for December and I said I could not. Not only is my car not near as new as his, it is a gas guzzler and I am having brake issues (and who knows what other mechanical problems…sigh) that I cannot come. I told him the money it would cost would leave me nothing to spend for their birthday or Christmas. I had already told him I have Bailey and her grandfather live with me to economize money (plus I like the company…lol). I asked him if he had a roommate in his place since it is two bedrooms and the children are no longer there to use the room. He said no! This is after he complained to me about not having enough money. I just do not understand. He said he wanted to keep the room open when he gets the kids they will have a place to stay. Then we argued about him keeping the children on his insurance. I was saying it would be cheaper for him to let me cover them since he is fully covered for medical by his work. He wanted to keep the insurance so IF he had to take the children to the doctor while he had them then he would not have a co-pay. Really? This makes no sense either. Plus the kids would be triple insured. My insurance from would be primary, his insurance would be secondary (which really only works in the Vegas area) and AZ Medicaid would be last. Since his insurance will not want to cover anything then the Medicaid, most likely, would not pick up the rest.

John also complained to me about what I have said about him in the blog. I told him I try to be honest. In fairness I thought I had mentioned, but apparently never finished the post, about me moving. John did help move us out of the hotel and into the house. I appreciated the help. I really did. The problem is that it is a little help he gave when there is SO much he is doing to either not help or drive me nuts. He said he never talks bad about me in public. True, but he had plenty of bad things to say to me to our friends and family privately. I do bash him sometimes on here but I told him this is where I vent things when I am angry. He said I should talk to my friends. What friends? Krissi, my best friend in California, has different hours than I do. We used to talk at night but now that I get up at 4am I have to be asleep by 10pm (hopefully!). So we do not really get to talk much. My mother, who I like talking to and keeps me up on family gossip, is also often busy with my nephew. Jennifer, a good friend in Florida, is often busy too. That is basically all the friends I have to talk to. It is weird because I have Bailey and her grandfather living with me and I enjoy the company but on the other hand I do not want to tell them more than they read in the blog. I do not want to over burden ANYONE with all the crap I have going on in my life, the things I am unhappy about, and what I want to change/do in the future. It is hard to hold most everything in and not have anyone to tell my problems to (even if it just to listen).

Bailey is starting to go nuts concerning the children. I think she is too harsh with them (James in particular) but she thinks I am too lax. Then when I come home kids go nuts because I am there and the rules change. I agree with her but we need to find some sort of medium. With the hiring of Alexa, a high school student, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday (from 3pm to 6pm) I am hoping it will give Bailey a break and she might be able to show Bailey and I some other ways to try and get the children to comply with what we are wanting out of them. I am willing to try. It is hard to leave the children. It hurt me the other day when, after the long Thanksgiving weekend, Bailey tells me that tomorrow will be hell. I asked her why and she said because you will be gone. I understand her point of view but shouldn't you wake up every day with a positive attitude? You could make that a self-fulfilling prophecy by thinking that way. It hurt going to work on Monday knowing that was how she felt about James and the day in general. It is hard to leave my children. I am still trying to adjust. I am already having to take the day off from work on December 4th to meet with the DDD to see if the children qualify for services in Arizona. I am hoping they will be helpful and qualify all the children for services. If they do I might be able to get Bailey a break.

Christmas and the children’s birthday is coming. I am posting the Christmas/Birthday wishes online. Maybe the children will get something from Santa Claus…lol

James:

The boy LOVES books. He needs books on the second and third grade level. He also could use some math help of some sort. Math is hard for him to understand unless I have beads or something for him to count. A chalkboard would be awesome. Dry erase would be good too. Mom would like the chalk to keep from making a mess.

Joseph:

Joseph would do well with anything that can help him with Braille skills. He is not fully blind but I want him to learn Braille so if something happened he would already know it. He loves anything music (Bailey might hate me for this one). Drums of some sort would be nice (keep in mind ALL the children would want to play them so they would have to be durable). Joseph loves music and lights. Any pre-school learning materials would be nice too.

Margaret:

She is in DIRE need of clothes. She has out grown everything. She is a 3T to 4T in pants and a 4T shirt. She could also use some more shoes. She wears a size 10. Margaret LOVES Hello Kitty right now so ANYTHING Hello Kitty would be great. I also want to get her a twin matters. Just a mattress would be ok and I could sit it in the floor.

Mom:

I need another ROKU for the children. It allows me to stream TV without the commercials. The regular TV is teaching the children a lot of bad habits and Margaret is starting to sounds like an infomercial. I would LOVE to have a gift card to Old Navy or Romans. I NEED work clothes and Old Navy and Romans have clothes that fit and would look nice for work. Mom also BADLY needs an elliptical to work out at home.  Maybe I can work off some of my stress!  Anyone have a used one taking up space?  :)

So that us our Christmas wish list. Wednesday is the PowerBall lottery. I went in with the office pool. The jackpot is estimated to be $500 million dollars. I would LOVE it if I could win…lol. I HIGHLY doubt it but I can dream…

I Promise I Am Trying...

I am trying to get on here for the last few days but I have been too tired.  We all worked like a dog over the weekend and now I am putting 11 and 12 hour days at work so I can have Thanksgiving off and Friday too. We were able to get a washer and dryer up and running.  That was SO much better!!!   We ran at least 12 loads getting all the stinky stuff washed. Wow!

I will be back on Thanksgiving or the day after and update.    :)

Sick, sick and more sick...

Photo Credit: thriftyninja.net

Sorry it has been so long since I had posted. It was a LONG weekend last weekend. On Friday I got a call from Bailey. She had gone to the hospital a few days before because she had not been feeling well. It seemed like she was having an allergic reaction to something in the house (cat maybe) and went to the hospital. She also told them about the pain she had been having in her kidneys. They did not even treat her and accused her of faking seizures (keep in mind she is epileptic). On Friday the hospital calls her and at least gives her the impression that if she did not come in immediately and get treated with antibiotics she was going to die. Bailey, not quite yet 20, was scared out of her mind. She called me at 1:00pm and said she was going to call an ambulance and head to the hospital. The ambulance arrived and took Bailey. The Fire Department arrived also and stayed with the children until the police arrived. The fire department put one of my car seats in their truck while the police car had two built-in seats and put Margaret and James in those. Everyone rode to the hospital and went into the ER. Bailey did pretty well with keeping the children calm and with her. A volunteer fire fighter called me at work. He said he wanted to check up on me and make sure I knew where my children were. I said I did know and that I had talked to Bailey. He said he was worried about the children and I needed to come and get them. I told him I had just started a new job and I could not leave to go and get them. It was the end of the pay period and I had submitted my timesheet so there was NO wiggle room to make that happen. I told him I was going to be off at 3:30pm (It was only in another half hour) and he said ok. I finally got off the phone with him and started to get my things together so when 3:30pm came I could leave.

I left work at 3:30pm. Spent an hour and half in traffic to get home. Once there I lug in and install the two car seats. Each one of these things weigh 40 pounds. When I bought then years ago I was thinking about safety and not having to lug them around. I get the two seats installed and then drive to the hospital. I have to find the ER and then find Bailey and the children. For three four –year-olds they were behaving really well! I sat for a bit with Bailey. When the hospital was ready to admit her I left. There was no one to help us out. So I was pushing Joseph in a stroller (thankfully I had brought one in), lugged his car seat over my should/back (hand is too weak and messed up from the carpel tunnel surgery to carry it), trying to herd Margaret in the parking lot (she walked out in front of a car but I knew they were watching her thankfully) and listen to James cry and whine as I made him pull/drag a bag of toys that Bailey had pack for them weighing 15 pounds. As I made it out to the parking lot a woman and her daughter saw us and heard James crying. She offered to help. I told her THANK YOU! We made it to the car. I installed the last car seat. The kind woman stayed with the children while I did that. The lady and her daughter left and I loaded the children into the car. By the time I got home it was 8:30pm. I was exhausted! I had left the house at 5am and was FINALLY back home for the day!

Saturday Bailey had to stay in the hospital. She was getting an IV full of antibiotics. The infection in her kidneys was a strain of bacteria that was resistant to several “common” antibiotics that you would pick up at the local pharmacy. This left her in the hospital for both Saturday and most of Sunday. I got to enjoy the house mostly alone (her grandfather (Bill) was working) with the children. We had a nice time. Sunday I went to the hospital to pick up Bailey. I put $80 in my gas tank and it only filled my van up half way. The gas is killing me commuting back and forth to work. I think I may change my schedule and start to take the bus. I can’t continue to commute 60 miles a day in my 1992 Ford E-350 15 passenger van…lol. I am using about a tank of gas a week which equals around $150 per week! Bailey came home Sunday night and basically went right to sleep. She was still pretty heavily medicated from being in the hospital. Monday I saw her and we all had a nice day. She was still tired and groggy so I sent her to sleep as much as she could. I knew I would have to work the next day. Monday night I started to feel sick. By late Monday night I was REALLY feeling sick. I was sick enough I took some Nyquil to sleep. I woke up early because I was so stuff and my throat was dry from snoring. Tuesday at work was HORRIBLE. I could barely function but I had to be here anyways. I have no sick time to take off and I had things I had to do here. Last night I took a double dose of Nyquil. I woke up this morning having had one of the best night sleep in a while. Since November 4th, when I moved into the house, I have been sleeping in the floor. I have a thin memory foam mattress topper with two comforters on it as my bed. Bailey and her grandfather were kind enough to supply the bedding. Otherwise I would have been sleeping on the carpet. This is my second week of sleeping on the floor. It has been tough. I am not sure if it is me getting used to sleeping in the floor or the Nyquil but I was grateful for a sound night’s sleep!

My storage cubes are supposed to be delivered this Friday. I am hoping to have my mattress at least. Everyone in the house has at least a mattress except me…lol. I would like my mattress up off the floor but just having a mattress would be a MAJOR improvement! Bit by bit things are getting done. I can’t wait for life to settle down. John is still sticking to paying me what he has to in child support versus the amount we had agreed upon. He knows that I have to apply that money to Bailey and any other sitter I might hire. I love Bailey to death but I worry about her physically taking care of the children full-time. I am afraid her body might not be able to handle it.  Plus I know she needs some time to take care of herself.  I would love to find someone who could drive in an emergency. The last nanny I was trying to find quit. So I need to get back to searching. It is hard to get motivated though. There is SO much that needs to be done but I only have so much time and money.

Stories of a REAL man...Are there any around 40 or under?

It seems to be some sort of generational gap.  My friend Krissi and I were talking.  She was telling me how her father would have sacrificed EVERYTHING to take care of his children.  Then we both talked about our respective sperm donors. We discussed how her John was being a complete jerk and then we talked about my John.  He had recently changed the child support rules on me without bothering to tell me first.  He wound up shorting me about $250 that payment.  He changed the child support from the agreed upon $700 twice a month to about $500.  Nice of him to let me know he was going to do that when he KNEW I was trying to get the money to move out of the hotel and into a house.  Plus I needed ALL the child support money to pay the caregivers I was trying to keep/hire for the children so I could go to work.  When I confronted him about this he said I had TAKEN EVERYTHING.  Are you serious?  You have the nerve to say that to me?  I SOLD most of what WE had so I could have money because YOU left when I was NOT working.  What stuff was left I packed and took with me because YOU said YOU did not want it. As for money, I was only getting from you what I NEEDED so the children and I could survive and have food.  Even then it was not enough because I lost the house in Henderson.

Where are the MEN today?  When I moved into the house I let Bailey move in so she could watch the children and she asked if her grandfather could come too.  We were both a bit hesitant about the idea initially but when he said to me that it does not matter that he is uncomfortable it is ALL ABOUT THE CHILDREN!  In that one statement, I KNEW, we would be able to work things out.  On the first night in the house Bill (Bailey's grandfather) and I had a real chance to talk and it was refreshing.  He had already fixed a few things around the house without having to be asked.  He was planning to go grocery shopping for EVERYONE without having to be asked.  Bailey and I were talking about getting eyebrows and legs waxed.  He said would be willing to send BOTH of us to the spa after the 20th of the month.  He said it would not only be HIS treat BUT he was also willing to watch the children while we went out!  Then James and Margaret started to cry because they were in a new house and alone.  Bailey was about to get up to check on them but Bill said for her to sit down and he would go.  He went into their room and laid down in the floor until Joseph and Margaret were asleep and James was settled down.  That was SO nice!  Having a male figure in the house has been great for James and he LOVES being Grandpa's sidekick...LOL.

Today I went to work early in the morning.  When I got home I got a HUGE surprise!  Bailey and her grandfather had fixed several things around the house.  At least things that could be fixed!  They had gone to my bathroom in the house and put up a shower curtain they had and the bathroom rugs were in the floor too.  About 30 minutes after I got to the house Bill had the dinner ready HE had COOKED!  Yes, it was HIS DAY OFF and he worked in the house, outside the house (weeding part of the yard and checking the sprinkler system), AND cooked!  It was yummy!  I had pork chops, green beans, and mashed red potatoes.  It was great!  Once dinner was done I played with the kids as Bailey and her grandfather cleaned the kitchen and got the dishwasher started.  It was SO nice.  I got to lay in the floor (still no furniture in the house) and play with the children and get on the computer.

This is what it is like to have a MAN in the house.  It is SO refreshing!  A man who sees things that need to be done and just does them without being asked.  Someone who is happy to help and does not require constant stroking of the ego because they did something the SHOULD have done. He is willing to take care of others without asking anything in return.  Bill is not perfect.  He has his faults too but they are small in comparison to all the help he provides. It has been a long time since I had someone who was helping to take care of the family.  I had all most forgotten when it was like to have help!  You, Bill, I am sad to say are a dying breed I think.  I am not sure we we as women (or society) have gone wrong but I hope it gets better.  Bill is willing to sacrifice everything in order to provide for the children (including some who are not his own).  Who else but a WOMAN does that nowadays?

Where are the MEN who are 40 or under?  Are there any out there?  I think there might be a few and ladies if you have a MAN, hold on to him tight!  He is worth his weight in gold!!!

Moving out of the Hotel!

Photo Credit: jrbriggs.com

Time to move again!  This time it is into a house with a yard.  Yea!  I got to sign the lease today.  It took SO long to make it happen but I got it done!  Staying cramped up in the hotel was MISERABLE for us.  Tomorrow John is coming for the first time to see the children since we left.  That will be interesting.  I am wondering how James will take it.  The timing is pretty good though since we will be moving while the are gone for about 24 hours.  Does anyone want to help???  Please!  :)

I will try and sneak away for a bit on Sunday to post again.  It will be a BUSY weekend!