Sick and Barfing

Margaret sick and sleeping the day away!

I have been working on trying to rebuild my relationship with John. So far, according to him, I am not doing a good job. The first weekend when he came down I did not see him except at night. John complained and said he was not getting to see enough of me. He was interested in seeing the children but he was more interested in seeing me than the kids because he was trying to build a relationship with ME and not the children. I understand that and I agree, I think he is right, so I tried to make things better. The next weekend I spent half the day with Bailey and then the second half of the day with John. That was a little better. This weekend I went to Vegas. I told John, two weeks ago, that I was coming into town to get my car fixed and Saturday was going to be my day. I moved when I was going to come into town because John said he would not have time for us (me or the children) on Sunday because of church and lesson planning for school (and I am sure the Super Bowl somewhat). So I decided to come into town on Thursday and leave Sunday. I told John I was coming to town to let a friend fix my car. Saturday was my day to be alone. He said ok and told me Friday was his busy day. He had to go to work, then to the therapist and finally to a church group. I said that was fine. I was disappointed he did not want to skip the church group and come home to see the children and I but I was ok with it. He felt he had things he had to do so I was ok. I see John for a bit on Thursday night before we both pass out in the bed.

Picture of John's Fridge AFTER shopping!
Bag of sandwiches on the bottom shelf  I
brought with me along with the medicine
and Gatorade on the top shelf.

Since John was going to be gone Friday I spent the day with Chelsea and her children. I got the kids up and gave them a bath. This is when I notice John’s condo was not clean. The place had not been vacuumed, counters wiped down, trash taken out or bathrooms cleaned. It made me feel as though he was not concerned about making a good impression at all. I knew I could clean it but it would only make me mad. It as NOT how I wanted to spend my day. I asked Chelsea if she knew of someone to clean it and she said she would. I told her they job was hers if she wanted it. I went to pick up Chelsea and her daughter at 10:30am. I take us over to McDonalds (the ONLY one I will go to during the winter since they keep it really clean) and we let the kids play. They had a big time. Chelsea’s son got out of school at 3:15 so we went back to her place. I dropped her and her daughter off while I took the children with me to the store. The amount of food in John’s fridge, AFTER he went shopping, was pathetic! I picked up stuff for dinner along with more breakfast foods (the kids FAVORITE meal of the day), more milk and some fresh fruit. I spent $60 on food. I went back to pick up Chelsea and her children and we went over to John’s place. Chelsea’s son is a little older than my children so the boys were having fun and going wild. Nothing like two hyperactive, autistic boys playing in a condo together…lol. They played while I straightened and Chelsea cleaned. She got the kitchen cleaned and both the bathroom before the had to go. I stopped and fixed the kids something to eat. After eating Chelsea and I along with 5 children piled into my car (ONE of the new times I enjoyed having my HUGE van….LOL). took Chelsea and her children home. When we got there James had to pee so we went up to her place. The kids played and Chelsea gave me the blanket she had knitted for James and Joseph for Christmas. They are beautiful! Then she showed me Margaret’s blanket. It is VERY neat! I am looking forward to when she finishes it! Sean (her husband) arrived home and I asked about the time. It was 8:30pm. I had told John I would have dinner for him by 9:00pm. Sigh, I knew I was late. I hurried the children downstairs and out to the car. We get to John’s place and as we are about to walk in John pulls up. We go upstairs. I tell him that I do not have dinner made but I would make it. I told him I was going to cook a steak with salad and béarnaise sauce and fresh broccoli. John said that was too much to eat this late. I said ok. The kids were happy to see him. It was the first time we had seen him all day. They stayed up for another hour and were put to bed. John and I talked for a bit afterwards and we went to bed because we were both yawning.

On Saturday we got up late-ish (8am). I said I had to get ready quickly since my appointment was at 9am for the Aveda school spa. Chelsea ended up meeting me over there thankfully so we would not be late. As I was leaving John made me feel guilty or at least upset. He kept asking me if I was going to stay to eat breakfast (no, we got up late and I would not make my appointment) will you come over after you are done at the spa (no, I told you two weeks ago that Saturday was MY day), will you come back later(no, I want to spend the day away from the kids). The responses I wrote are not what I said for the most part but what I SHOULD have said. I told him two weeks ago when I planned this trip that I was spending the day at the spa and after that I was going to have my car worked on by Sean (He is a master mechanic). I knew there was something going on with the brakes and I had to get it fixed. After that I was going to a hotel room because I wanted to get a good night’s sleep before having to drive back the next day. John was unhappy. He sent me a LONG text that night. I was not even sure how to respond back.

 I offered to go to McDonald's with him Sunday morning so we could talk and the kids could play.  It allowed the children to burn off energy while we got to speak.  In the end we more or less made up but it is hard.  I want to love him.  I just wonder about the motivation of getting back together.  Then he says he loves me but turns around and emotionally punishes me when he is not happy with what I am doing.  I am not up for that anymore.  Basically if you cannot be a positive influence in my life I don't really have time for you.

This week has been SO busy at work I feel like I am spinning in circles.   I know I am not but it feels that way!  On Tuesday Bailey took Joseph with her to the doctor's office.  She was there to pick up her medical records.  While there a car turned into the parking lot quickly and hit her.  Luckily it was at a fairly low speed but she dislocated her should and got a hairline fracture on her hip. That was the cause of some drama.  Then on Thursday Margaret was barfing her head off to the point of passing out so Bailey took her to the urgent care.  That was $40 I had to pay in a doctor visit.  That was the same day I got her medicaid stuff worked out but her prescriptions went to Walgreens and it is basically the ONLY major retailer that does not accept Margaret's medicaid plan.  I had the prescriptions transferred over to Safeway.  Walgreens waited until the LAST minute to transfer the prescription over.  They were wanting me to come back but I would have had to pay $30 for the prescriptions.  At Safeway I paid nothing but I did not get home until about 8:30pm.  It was a LONG ass day!  I was annoyed with Bailey because I told her just to wait on me and I will do the prescriptions later but she wanted to go to Walgreens so I told her to go.  Then she changed her mind but I told her to go.  I am mad at myself for not sticking, yet again, with my first instinct which was to just wait for me and let me get the prescriptions fulled.  

These are just two of the six cones in my floor.
Each cone is covering up a wet spot on the
floor where barf has been cleaned up
from poor Margaret.

Friday there was more Margaret barfing.  The poor girl can hardly keep anything down.  James had started to cough and barf some too.  I took them to the Urgent Care when I got home.  Cost me another $40 for James to see the doctor.  Margaret was free with the secondary insurance.  While there we were told Margaret was doing ok all in all (a bit dehydrated but ok) and so was James.  The doctor said it is something viral going around and there was little we could do.  I was a bit upset with Bailey again.  I will have to ask her to be quiet while at the doctor's office. She was interjecting information in when I did not ask.  I don't like that AT ALL! At one point she seemed a bit rude.  I was not feeling well myself by the time I took the kids to the doctor.  We left the office and I stopped by Sonic to get something cold to drink for sore throats and then headed home.

I got the kids to bed and then passed out myself. This morning when I got up and I SO sick.  I can tell I have a fever and I feel bad.  Writing this is tiring it is has taken me all day to make this post happen.

Friday (yesterday) was also a day I was upset with PITA.  I let him keep $700 in child support last month to help him catch up on his bills.  I write him yesterday and ask how much is he going to send me.  He writes back and says his paycheck was only $1400 and after paying rent ($800-something) then he would have nothing if he paid me AND he would not be able to come down here next weekend.  I said I NEED the money to make MY bills so he says *I* should tell HIM how much to send.  Are you serious?  There is no winning for me in that decision.  What can't he just take care of his end of things???

SO tired and SO sick.  I am done.  I hope this post makes sense...lol.  Night people!

Sick, sick and more sick...

Photo Credit: thriftyninja.net

Sorry it has been so long since I had posted. It was a LONG weekend last weekend. On Friday I got a call from Bailey. She had gone to the hospital a few days before because she had not been feeling well. It seemed like she was having an allergic reaction to something in the house (cat maybe) and went to the hospital. She also told them about the pain she had been having in her kidneys. They did not even treat her and accused her of faking seizures (keep in mind she is epileptic). On Friday the hospital calls her and at least gives her the impression that if she did not come in immediately and get treated with antibiotics she was going to die. Bailey, not quite yet 20, was scared out of her mind. She called me at 1:00pm and said she was going to call an ambulance and head to the hospital. The ambulance arrived and took Bailey. The Fire Department arrived also and stayed with the children until the police arrived. The fire department put one of my car seats in their truck while the police car had two built-in seats and put Margaret and James in those. Everyone rode to the hospital and went into the ER. Bailey did pretty well with keeping the children calm and with her. A volunteer fire fighter called me at work. He said he wanted to check up on me and make sure I knew where my children were. I said I did know and that I had talked to Bailey. He said he was worried about the children and I needed to come and get them. I told him I had just started a new job and I could not leave to go and get them. It was the end of the pay period and I had submitted my timesheet so there was NO wiggle room to make that happen. I told him I was going to be off at 3:30pm (It was only in another half hour) and he said ok. I finally got off the phone with him and started to get my things together so when 3:30pm came I could leave.

I left work at 3:30pm. Spent an hour and half in traffic to get home. Once there I lug in and install the two car seats. Each one of these things weigh 40 pounds. When I bought then years ago I was thinking about safety and not having to lug them around. I get the two seats installed and then drive to the hospital. I have to find the ER and then find Bailey and the children. For three four –year-olds they were behaving really well! I sat for a bit with Bailey. When the hospital was ready to admit her I left. There was no one to help us out. So I was pushing Joseph in a stroller (thankfully I had brought one in), lugged his car seat over my should/back (hand is too weak and messed up from the carpel tunnel surgery to carry it), trying to herd Margaret in the parking lot (she walked out in front of a car but I knew they were watching her thankfully) and listen to James cry and whine as I made him pull/drag a bag of toys that Bailey had pack for them weighing 15 pounds. As I made it out to the parking lot a woman and her daughter saw us and heard James crying. She offered to help. I told her THANK YOU! We made it to the car. I installed the last car seat. The kind woman stayed with the children while I did that. The lady and her daughter left and I loaded the children into the car. By the time I got home it was 8:30pm. I was exhausted! I had left the house at 5am and was FINALLY back home for the day!

Saturday Bailey had to stay in the hospital. She was getting an IV full of antibiotics. The infection in her kidneys was a strain of bacteria that was resistant to several “common” antibiotics that you would pick up at the local pharmacy. This left her in the hospital for both Saturday and most of Sunday. I got to enjoy the house mostly alone (her grandfather (Bill) was working) with the children. We had a nice time. Sunday I went to the hospital to pick up Bailey. I put $80 in my gas tank and it only filled my van up half way. The gas is killing me commuting back and forth to work. I think I may change my schedule and start to take the bus. I can’t continue to commute 60 miles a day in my 1992 Ford E-350 15 passenger van…lol. I am using about a tank of gas a week which equals around $150 per week! Bailey came home Sunday night and basically went right to sleep. She was still pretty heavily medicated from being in the hospital. Monday I saw her and we all had a nice day. She was still tired and groggy so I sent her to sleep as much as she could. I knew I would have to work the next day. Monday night I started to feel sick. By late Monday night I was REALLY feeling sick. I was sick enough I took some Nyquil to sleep. I woke up early because I was so stuff and my throat was dry from snoring. Tuesday at work was HORRIBLE. I could barely function but I had to be here anyways. I have no sick time to take off and I had things I had to do here. Last night I took a double dose of Nyquil. I woke up this morning having had one of the best night sleep in a while. Since November 4th, when I moved into the house, I have been sleeping in the floor. I have a thin memory foam mattress topper with two comforters on it as my bed. Bailey and her grandfather were kind enough to supply the bedding. Otherwise I would have been sleeping on the carpet. This is my second week of sleeping on the floor. It has been tough. I am not sure if it is me getting used to sleeping in the floor or the Nyquil but I was grateful for a sound night’s sleep!

My storage cubes are supposed to be delivered this Friday. I am hoping to have my mattress at least. Everyone in the house has at least a mattress except me…lol. I would like my mattress up off the floor but just having a mattress would be a MAJOR improvement! Bit by bit things are getting done. I can’t wait for life to settle down. John is still sticking to paying me what he has to in child support versus the amount we had agreed upon. He knows that I have to apply that money to Bailey and any other sitter I might hire. I love Bailey to death but I worry about her physically taking care of the children full-time. I am afraid her body might not be able to handle it.  Plus I know she needs some time to take care of herself.  I would love to find someone who could drive in an emergency. The last nanny I was trying to find quit. So I need to get back to searching. It is hard to get motivated though. There is SO much that needs to be done but I only have so much time and money.

Things ARE Falling Into Place!!!

I am SO excited.  I finally got computer access at work.  Seriously, it was painful all the waiting this week! All I have been doing at work is reading material on HOW to do my job.  I am hoping to start next week to ACTUALLY get started learning my job.  I can't wait!

The housing situation...  I am ecstatic to report it looks like I have a hard lead on a house! It is in Gilbert near McQueen and Elliot.  The house is in a SUPER nice area and zoned for a nice school.  It is a place where the children and I can settle down and live comfortably for YEARS!  It has been SO long since I have had a house where I can stay for awhile.  The rent is affordable.  The house is spacious and has a nice backyard. The backyard is enclosed with a small covered patio area AND grass!  There are few homes in the Phoenix area I have seen that have grass.  Most have rock or dirt.  This one HAS grass!  The home is own by a property management company.  I had to fill out an application and sign it in blood (not really but it felt like I should have).  I had to ask my dad to put down money on this house and to co-sign for me since I do not have a recent work history.  So far it all looks good.  If I get this house I will be SO happy!

Babysitter/Nanny situation...  I am happy to report that Bailey may be moving in with me if I get this house.  I have also found a lady that can take the children for me too.  She runs a daycare in her home but she currently is not taking care of any children.  This is PERFECT for me.  For one thing the children are a handful all by themselves.  The second is that Joseph cannot be around a lot of other children since he could get sick.  Great situation.  This lady, Jennifer, is also older (my age and not 18), has raised children of her own and thinks taking my children would be FUN because it would be INTERESTING!  How AWESOME is that?  LOL   She says this now.  What until she meets them...lol.  Jennifer also lives close to the possible house making that situation even better!  Jennifer can drive and is willing to drive the children to their doctor and therapy appointments if I can keep them close by.  So my thought is that Bailey can live with me.  I can get up super early and go to work.  Bailey and the children can sleep.  Once they are up Baily can wash the children, get them dressed and make breakfast.  Once they are fed Bailey can call Jennifer and she would come and get them for the rest of the day until I can come and get them.  Not a bad idea I think!

So job situation is improving and the people I work with are very nice.  The housing situation, with a LOT of help from my parents, might be fixed soon.  The child care situation is working out with some possible back ups. With Bailey AND Jennifer taking my children I would hope it would keep them from getting burned out.  The kids can be rough on people.  Just drive you NUTS some days!

Things are falling into place.  I think Bailey and her Grandfather have adopted us and to be honest I like that.  Being out here and knowing NO ONE makes me worried.  If something happens to me what would happen to the children?  Or me?  It is nice to know someone would be able to check on me.   : )

Now I Know Why I Have Been Losing My Hair...

hip2give.blogspot.com

It is due to STRESS, STRESS and MORE STRESS!!!  I hope it is anyways.  Then maybe my hair will grow back one day. Sigh!  Ok, so lets start with Monday.  It was my first day back to work in almost five years. The night before I get a message from my husband, the man who left, on Facebook.  Yet again he does not seem to understand, or worse yet, he does not care how much I resent leaving my children and returning to work.

Hey,

I just wanted to tell you good luck tomorrow. I know you have been waiting for this moment for a long time. I have been praying every day for you. I know it will be tough to be away from the children, but it will also be good to get out there are do something you have been planning for and educating yourself for. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and trying to send you good vibes. I assume you found a babysitter. I hope she works out well and you like her. I know she will love the kids...everyone does.

Does the hotel have a phone number I can call? I'd still like to call the kids after school tomorrow, and I know you will have your phone.

I will talk to you soon.

John

Here is my reply....

John,

I have NOT been waiting for this moment for a long time. I had this moment FORCED upon me when you decided to leave us without sufficient means of support in July. I have been planning our move since I have been offered the job. In six weeks time, with very little help from you, I have had to pack, move and try not to be homeless.

You KNOW I have no desire for this job. Yes, it is what I went to school for and this position is perfect for me career-wise but YOU KNOW I did not want to work until next year. That the children, in particular Joseph, still need me. It is not a matter of just "being tough being away from the children" but they need me to take care of all their emotional, medical and school needs. It has been very tough for our autistic children to make the transition and the stress and lack of routine has all ready begun to show in behavioral issues. I see it as SOLELY YOUR responsibility for the emotional and behavioral problems you have caused the children by having me leave them.

Don't wish me luck or send me good vibes. You have not been a part of this in ANY way except CAUSING all of this to happen! You have done the bare minimum for me and the children. As you said you ASSUME I got a babysitter. You have NO idea what I had to do , who I got to watch the children and how it was done. I have found someone adequate but she will not be able to serve long-term because she cannot drive. So she cannot care for the children after we get out of the hotel. She cannot take the kids to any doctor,therapy or school appointments. I have to continue my search for a sitter. Even paying someone ALL of the child support you send apparently is not enough to hire a quality sitter so I am not sure what I am going to do since I need my income to pay rent, food and other bills.

As for calling the hotel you can try but the room phone is unplugged because the children will not leave it alone and had randomly called a few people in the hotel. I suggest you call in the evening at 8:00pm. Then they will get a chance to speak with you before bed.

Michelle

Now that was how I was greeting on Sunday night.  I went to work Monday.  My nanny showed up on time but I was late leaving the door.  It was hard to leave.  Off to work I went.  I used the GPS on my phone and after a wrong turn (my fault) I made it to the right area but I could not find the building.  I was SO glad I left the house at 7:15am and told my work I would be in by 8:30am.  My work was on jackson Street and I could seen the number jump in a HUGE way so I knew I was missing something. I pulled into the parking lot and I got out of my car.  The VERY first person I saw with a badge on I asked where I needed to go.  I was lucky because they knew. Thank goodness!!!  By the time I got in it was 8:20am.  I got there 10 minutes early! Yea!  

I was there for a bit and I get my first call from the nanny.  She was just checking in.  Good.  I keep busy at work reading material and getting all the newbie stuff done.  I get a second call after lunch.  This call was not good.  Bailey, the nanny,  says James was playing the Kindle. That is good in a way because it keeps him busy and out of trouble.  While he was playing Margaret goes over and tries to watch.  When she does James hits her.  Now, when I am there, I make James apologize to Margaret and say he is sorry for hitting her.  That is the end of the discipline.  Bailey on the other hand him in time out.  James has not been doing well with time out.  She tells me that he is crying hysterically and had been hanging his head on the wall.  That was when she decided to call me.  She put James on the phone and he was crying so hysterically that I could hardly understand anything he had to say.  

I spoke to him and said he needed to calm down.  I got him telling me he was in trouble and he was sorry.  It  broke my heart.  I said it was ok and he could not hit his sister.  He had to go and tell her he was sorry and give her a hug.  He got off the phone and I had a talk with Bailey reminding her that is he is getting hysterical like that then the form of discipline she is using is not working.  She said she did not want him to get away with the behavior and I said I agreed but that is why I make him apologize and say he is sorry and then give a hug.  I hoped she understood why I did not really want him in time out any more if he is getting hysterical.  

When I hung up the phone I could think of little else until I got home.  I cried at work.  I wanted to be home with James.  He is NOT taking this transition well!  The behavior I have been seeing is something that I have NEVER seen before.  I had NEVER seen him bang his head on the wall when upset.  :(

When I got off work and got home all was quiet at least.  Or so I thought.  I was trying to get the children ready for bed when Bailey called again.  She told me she was approached by the hotel manager and told that SHE was going to get kicked out if the children were so loud that someone complained again.  She was concerned about coming over to watch the children today because she is afraid of someone complaining again.  Baily, God love her, is a VERY nice lady but I am not entirely certain she got the details right on that. I would think WE would be kicked out of the hotel if we were loud again.  I hope not!  This just emphasizes the need to move into a home of some sort.  With my credit being trashed now I am not sure if I can make that happen.  We HAVE to get out of here though.  The children are bouncing off the walls here because the hotel room is so small.  Bailey is doing a good job in trying to take them out.  She walks them over the convenience store and swimming but they just need more space to run and play.  To spread out and not be on top of each other like they are in the hotel room.  Plus they REALLY need an enclosed yard to run around in.

Ok, so today.  Bailey comes to work.  I tell her let James play the Kindle all day if needed. I HATE that because I don't want him dependent on it but on the other hand I do not want ANY of us thrown out of the hotel!  I left for work.  It seems it takes me 45 minutes to get there.  I made it to work and my day was going ok.  I was calling to check in on James an hour after I left.  Everything was fine.  I got a call at 11:35am and it was Bailey.  She was saying she was not feeling good.  She said the kids were fine and she had to get after James once while they were out at the pool but that was it.  More of my day passes.  My boss comes by and says there is a conference meeting with the EPA representative at 2pm today and I needed to be there and so will HIS boss.  At 1:00pm I get another call from Bailey.  She says she is feeling really sick and her grandfather got her an appointment to the doctor at 3pm.  She wanted to know if I could come home.  Since it takes me 45 minutes to drive to work I figure I have to leave by 2pm.  Of course this is RIGHT at the time of the conference!  Sigh!  I can't catch an effin' break!  So on my second day on the job I have to go to my boss and say I am sorry but I have to leave.  I am going to have to make up the lost work hours since have have no time accrued anywhere.   

I come home and Bailey leaves.  I am thankful I hear later that it was a very large stomach ulcer that was giving her a problem.  She is now back on medication for it but she tells me that the medication makes her sleep so she is worried that she cannot continue working for me full-time.  She wants to work part-time and find someone else to fill in the rest of the time.  She said she could work for now but I need to look for someone.  Back to nanny hunting for me.  Sigh!  

I am tired.  SO VERY TIRED!!!

Should I mention STRESSED too?

When Did My Life Turn Into A Jerry Springer Episode?

Photo Credit: swaysuniverse.com

So today my life could have been featured on a Jerry Springer episode!  Why does it have to be life that!?!  I have ENOUGH to deal with!  It all started innocently enough.  I found a listing for a condo in Scottsdale. I called last night and asked the realtor to show me the property today.  She said ok and I asked HER for a time.  She said 9:30am.  I said ok and I asked Bailey if she wanted to go with us.  I was  not intending for her to babysit for me at all today.  Maybe help keep the kids in line for a bit while we looked at the condo but that is all.  

mcarizona.com

We arrive on time.  We all get out and look around.  It is nice.  Very bland and boring because everything looks the same but it is quiet and appears very safe.  I know the schools in the area are good too.  We stayed around and I never saw the realtor we were suppose to be meeting.  I call her phone three times in thirty minutes.  No answer!  So we left and I called the property management company telling them I wanted SOMEONE to show me the property.  I head out and go to the McDonald's on North Scottsdale and Thomas.  We get there and the kids know there is a playland here so they want to go inside.  At the same time I pulled up the realtor called me back saying her ringer was off and she missed my calls.  She said she was inside the condo!  Are you friggin' kidding me?  I said I would head back after I get everyone settled down.  

Bailey and I took the children inside and I got some food for them.  I headed back to the condo leaving Bailey and the children at McDonald's.  I should NOT have done that!  I went back and saw the condo.  It would suit our needs but there are some things about it that does not make it ideal for us.  I am torn on what I should do.  In the meantime, while I am gone, is where all the action is...

When I arrive Bailey tells me the whole story of what happened while I was away.  About 10 minutes after I left the children started to get rowdy.  James was running around like a wild boy and was up in the playland equipment poking people in the eye.  Why he was doing this I have NO idea!  Bailey told him to stop and he ignored her so she got him and forced him to sit in time out.  While sitting in timeout he was getting loud and crying.  She was trying to get him to settle down and when she was about to let him go he poked Margaret in the eye!  So she took James' hand and spanked it.  Now picture it....Margaret is wailing, James is crying and saying Bailey slapped him and she was going to get a spanking from me while Joseph sat in his stroller.  With all the commotion the shift manager came over and asked her and the children to leave the playland area.  Bailey said that was fine.  She got up and moved her and the children into the restaurant area.  

scottsdaleaz.gov

Now Bailey was sitting in the restaurant area with both James and Margaret on a backpack leash and Joseph in the stroller.  I am SO lost and I am telling Bailey I am trying to find my way back.  James and Margaret are crying.  They want to go back into the playland but now they are not allowed so they start screaming and crying.  James is pulling on his backpack leash and she does what I told her to do.  When he pulls like that I pull back and make him land on his butt.  He is screaming and crying. The shift manager approaches Bailey again and tells her she has called the police.  Bailey said that is fine and she was going to sit there until the police arrived.  I am still trying to find my way back.  The police come and Bailey explains what happened.  That James is a FOUR YEAR OLD CHILD and was misbehaving by poking people in the eye, she tried to correct his behavior but that only made things worse, then the manager kicked them out of the playland, that made everything worse and she said she was waiting for me to return.  She explained that the children were autistic and did not always listen to instructions.  The policeman said he understood.  He had a niece that was autistic.  So after that Bailey went outside with the children and waited for me to arrive. OMG!!!  What a CRAZY situation!  I don't think the manager even warned Bailey she was going to call the police!

I was SO freaking lost!  The GPS on my phone kept sending me to the wrong places. I had to get the cross streets from Bailey and google the address to get the right McDonalds.   I apologized over and over again to her.  Not only for the way the children behaved and me being late but that I had NEVER intended to be gone for SO long!  I bought her lunch to help make up for me being so late and I talked to her about what a great job I thought she did handling the situation she was in.  I have to admit she kept a cool head in the situation!

Tomorrow I start my job.  I am excited to go back to work, scared and worried for the children.  John send me a message on Facebook and I replied.  You can read what I said...

Hey,

I just wanted to tell you good luck tomorrow. I know you have been waiting for this moment for a long time. I have been praying every day for you. I know it will be tough to be away from the children, but it will also be good to get out there are do something you have been planning for and educating yourself for. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and trying to send you good vibes. I assume you found a babysitter. I hope she works out well and you like her. I know she will love the kids...everyone does.

Does the hotel have a phone number I can call? I'd still like to call the kids after school tomorrow, and I know you will have your phone.

I will talk to you soon.

John

Here is my reply...

John,

I have NOT been waiting for this moment for a long time. I had this moment FORCED upon me when you decided to leave us without sufficient means of support in July. I have been planning our move since I have been offered the job. In six weeks time, with very little help from you, I have had to pack, move and try not to be homeless.

You KNOW I have no desire for this job. Yes, it is what I went to school for and this position is perfect for me career-wise but YOU KNOW I did not want to work until next year. That the children, in particular Joseph, still need me. It is not a matter of just "being tough being away from the children" but they need me to take care of all their emotional, medical and school needs. It has been very tough for our autistic children to make the transition and the stress and lack of routine has all ready begun to show in behavioral issues. I see it as SOLELY YOUR responsibility for the emotional and behavioral problems you have caused the children by having me leave them.

Don't wish me luck or send me good vibes. You have not been a part of this in ANY way except CAUSING all of this to happen! You have done the bare minimum for me and the children. As you said you ASSUME I got a babysitter. You have NO idea what I had to do , who I got to watch the children and how it was done. I have found someone adequate but she will not be able to serve long-term because she cannot drive. So she cannot care for the children after we get out of the hotel. She cannot take the kids to any doctor,therapy or school appointments. I have to continue my search for a sitter. Even paying someone ALL of the child support you send apparently is not enough to hire a quality sitter so I am not sure what I am going to do since I need my income to pay rent, food and other bills.

As for calling the hotel you can try but the room phone is unplugged because the children will not leave it alone and had randomly called a few people in the hotel. I suggest you call in the evening at 8:00pm. Then they will get a chance to speak with you before bed.

Nothing like the parents verbally fighting.  Sigh!  He seems to have NO idea how much I resent him at the moment for making me leave the children.

Off in the Deep End

Another day and Bailey is handling the children.  There are some things she does that worry me but then again I am a protective mother.  Bailey is a wonderful person!  She is handling the children pretty well.  I am afraid I will still have to look for a nanny for my children though.  As much as I like Bailey she has her drawbacks too.  Bailey has a genetic disease that has caused seizures.  She has had it under control for the last two years but she cannot drive.  I really need someone who can drive.  Plus Bailey lives in the hotel we are in currently.  When we move how she will be able to follow us?  I am at such a loss.  She is SO close to being Mary Poppins!  Waaaaah!

James Swimming!

One upside is between Bailey and myself we have gotten James to swim in a pool yesterday by himself (he did have a puddle jumper on).  I was SO proud of him!
The hotel where we are at has a heated pool.  We went out near dusk and let the James and Margaret swim.  Margaret stays on the steps and splashes for all she is worth.  James was holding onto the wall but he finally let do and swam.  Joseph we kept out of the water because he chills too quickly and is soon shivering all over.  Poor little Joseph!

Multiples Who Terrorize Nannies

Whoever thought she would be such a terror?

Sounds like a bad episode of a reality TV show right?  Well, sadly, that is what my children did today.  : (    The first nanny candidate came over to watch the children.  I was close by because I did not want to worry. So I went to a local car wash.  When I got back about two hours later I pulled into my parking spot and I was stopped by the hotel manager.  She told me she knew I was gone.  I asked why and she said she had to help the nanny get my children back into the room...TWICE!  WHAT?  I was ONLY gone for two hours and there is only ONE way out of the room! Never would have thought that would have happened!  When I went to the room the first nanny did tell me they got out twice but she told me in passing and did not elaborate on it.  I did not ask any questions either.  When I heard the kids had gotten out twice AND she NEVER called me when the hotel manager and maintenance guy had to help her get the children back is a HUGE problem!  I was immediately turned off by that.

I was pinning my hopes on the second nanny.  She arrived and I talked to her for a bit before I left.  I had told the hotel manager I would be gone again today from 2pm to 4pm.  I said if she noticed ANY problem to give me a call and I would be right back!  I left and I got a soda from the Sonic that is right next door to the hotel.  I then left and drove down the road.  I got about two miles away when I got a call.  It was from the hotel manager.  She said the children ran away and the nanny was screaming for help. I said I would be right back.  I turned around and headed back.  The hotel manager and maintenance worker had gotten the kids back to the room and the second nanny was there too.  She was clearly in shock.  She said James went behind her back and opened the door.  When that happened he took off in one direction and then Margaret left taking off in another direction.  When that happened she panicked.  She screamed for help.  She had said she was unsure what to do.  I spoke to her for a bit.  I really think she could do the job but she was spooked.  I asked her if she was still interested in the job and she said she wanted to leave for today.  I told her to call or text me last night to let me know if she was interested in the job and I did not hear anything from her.  I am taking the "no-response" as a NO!

When I got back to the hotel a second time a lady was outside waiting on a taxi.  She said she also lived in the hotel and she is a professional babysitter.  I talked to her for a bit last night.  She came and played with the children for a bit.  I was there and she did fine.  She was at least as qualified and anyone I interviewed and she lived right there in the hotel so she did not have to commute. Her salary was in my price range and I told her if I did not hear back from the second nanny the position was hers.  Seems like I might have found a new nanny in the most of unlikely places.  Is she my Mary Poppins?  Only time will tell!

Talking about the car wash..YEA!

I am sitting at the car wash. I got a little money from John and I wanted to get the car washed. It has been SO long sine it was done. I went to a place close to me and they were DEAD so I negotiated a deal on the price. I think $35 for a FULL cleaning on my 15 passenger van was a good deal. It will be nice to have it clean. With small children, especially disabled children, they often touch the car. Their hands and clothes were turning black and so was my clothes. It was disgusting! One of the two people interviewing for the nanny position is here today. It will be interesting to see what carthe children think of them. Will post more later tonight. :)