Stick To The Schedule!

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Time to go back to a schedule.  Children, including special needs children, NEED a schedule!  I have been home full-time for about a month and it does not feel like it!  Wit the children's birthday and Christmas in there we have been seriously busy! I have been cleaning out the house and reorganizing the playroom into more of a classroom. I also made a schedule I thought we could live with that would cover all the homeschool subject we need/want to cover.

Today we did history.  We read the first chapter of The Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer. Then we discussed what we had learned like what is a historian. What is an archaeologist   ? How can we figure out what happened long ago?  It was pretty fun!

Then we studied geography.  I decided we should start with the United States.  We got a list of the 50 states in alphabetical order and we will cover one state a week. I had them read through the list of states in order to get the names pronounced right. Today we started our study with Alabama.  This was great since the children were born there! I found a site, Ducksters.com, that cover a nice amount of general information about the state.  We read over that and we will use the time for the rest of the week to look up famous people that lived there, the state animal, and other facts.  The kids enjoyed learning about the state. Now we will spend a bit working on educational apps Cleaver Dragons and Always Icecream and call homeschooling done for today.

Yesterday James and Margaret spent the day in their room without electronics for the outrageous behavior. I also had James make a video apology to the care giver who was here that night.  Today his behavior is much better.  John and I discussed his behavior and decided he flipped out due to high anxiety that we were not coming home.  I will need to look for a book or curriculum on how to help him deal with his emotional anxiety in a more appropriate way. Any suggestions?

Things you are not told about Autism and ADHD

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Last night my husband and I went to marriage therapy.  I was all ready in a bad mood after leaving marriage therapy and then I get a phone call while we were still out from the sitter watching the children.  Though she is new sitter I was not prepared for what she had to tell me when I got home!

James got aggressive with her when she had told him to go to sleep and quit playing around with his brother. When she said she was going to text me he flipped out on her. I am sure it was because he know he was going to get in trouble but his behavior with her was outrageous!

The caregiver told us she texted us and then James grabbed for her phone.  She placed her phone in her bra to keep it away from him and he went to grab it anyways,  He was cussing at her and kept grabbing her.  Eventually he knocked her down and she fell into a toy bin and hurt herself.  James did at let immediately apologized for that.  The poor lady had hurt her wrist!  Thankfully she said she would be okay but his behavior was out of control!

With James having Autism and ADD he does not relate well to people on an emotional level.  He has not problem crossing personal boundaries like sticking his hands down that poor woman's shirt to try and get her phone. He knows he should not cuss but he did anyways to try and threaten her.  He pushed her down in desperation to get the phone with no thought of her personally.  All of this is basically due to lack of personal understanding of emotion, self control, and impulsivity.

We came home and James was immediately screaming and crying.  We hadn't even heard what he had done in detail yet but he did know he was in BIG trouble. He was blubbering and saying he was sorry.  Somewhere along the line James has come to the conclusion that saying sorry erases whatever he did wrong; no matter how egregious his behavior was at the time!

Today he is grounded to his room to think about his behavior.  He has some toys and books in his room and he comes out to do chores but it idea for today is for him to reflect on his behavior and hopefully not doing it again just to stay out of his room, if for not other reason!

Impulsivity and executive functioning is SO important!  We are obviously going to have to continue working on these skills!

Things ARE Falling Into Place!!!

I am SO excited.  I finally got computer access at work.  Seriously, it was painful all the waiting this week! All I have been doing at work is reading material on HOW to do my job.  I am hoping to start next week to ACTUALLY get started learning my job.  I can't wait!

The housing situation...  I am ecstatic to report it looks like I have a hard lead on a house! It is in Gilbert near McQueen and Elliot.  The house is in a SUPER nice area and zoned for a nice school.  It is a place where the children and I can settle down and live comfortably for YEARS!  It has been SO long since I have had a house where I can stay for awhile.  The rent is affordable.  The house is spacious and has a nice backyard. The backyard is enclosed with a small covered patio area AND grass!  There are few homes in the Phoenix area I have seen that have grass.  Most have rock or dirt.  This one HAS grass!  The home is own by a property management company.  I had to fill out an application and sign it in blood (not really but it felt like I should have).  I had to ask my dad to put down money on this house and to co-sign for me since I do not have a recent work history.  So far it all looks good.  If I get this house I will be SO happy!

Babysitter/Nanny situation...  I am happy to report that Bailey may be moving in with me if I get this house.  I have also found a lady that can take the children for me too.  She runs a daycare in her home but she currently is not taking care of any children.  This is PERFECT for me.  For one thing the children are a handful all by themselves.  The second is that Joseph cannot be around a lot of other children since he could get sick.  Great situation.  This lady, Jennifer, is also older (my age and not 18), has raised children of her own and thinks taking my children would be FUN because it would be INTERESTING!  How AWESOME is that?  LOL   She says this now.  What until she meets them...lol.  Jennifer also lives close to the possible house making that situation even better!  Jennifer can drive and is willing to drive the children to their doctor and therapy appointments if I can keep them close by.  So my thought is that Bailey can live with me.  I can get up super early and go to work.  Bailey and the children can sleep.  Once they are up Baily can wash the children, get them dressed and make breakfast.  Once they are fed Bailey can call Jennifer and she would come and get them for the rest of the day until I can come and get them.  Not a bad idea I think!

So job situation is improving and the people I work with are very nice.  The housing situation, with a LOT of help from my parents, might be fixed soon.  The child care situation is working out with some possible back ups. With Bailey AND Jennifer taking my children I would hope it would keep them from getting burned out.  The kids can be rough on people.  Just drive you NUTS some days!

Things are falling into place.  I think Bailey and her Grandfather have adopted us and to be honest I like that.  Being out here and knowing NO ONE makes me worried.  If something happens to me what would happen to the children?  Or me?  It is nice to know someone would be able to check on me.   : )

Angry Mom

Photo Credit:  sheknows.com

Angry mom helps to describe me in so many ways right now.  The first way I am angry is at UCLA.  I still had not heard anything from them so I thought I would try calling again.  After waiting on hold for 20 minutes I finally got through to speak to a human.  I asked to make an appointment and I was told to hold again while I am transferred.  Someone picked up soon after and said they could set the appointment for the muscle biopsy.  Finally I thought!  I was going to make the appointment.  The woman said the doctor only does the muscle biopsies on Mondays and Wednesdays.  She asked which day I wanted and I said I was not sure.  I asked when is the first available appointment.  The first available appointment was October 26th!  Not only is this after I have to leave Nevada but it is right after or close to when I am suppose to start my new job.  Aaaaggggg!  So now I am not sure what to do.  I need to get the muscle biopsy done for Joseph.  I have been working on this really since LAST year and this year I have been trying to get an appointment since the beginning of August I think. Now that I am going to Phoenix and I asked the geneticist, who is wanting the muscle biopsy, if she knew of anyone who can do the procedure there.

The next thing that got me angry today is the Nevada DMV website.  I got a call from my new job in Phoenix.  I have been asking them for a job offer letter for the last three weeks.  I was told they could get a letter together for me but not until they can get my driving record.  I did not get this call until 3:30pm.  I looked online and you can order your driver's record from there.  I thought, great, and I got everything together to place the order.  When I put ALL the information into the computer I hit the process order button and I got sorry but our systems are down.  Aaaaaggggg!!!  I was told I cannot get my job offer letter until I get my driving record to them so something else to hang me up.

Finally I have noticed I have a lot less patience with the children right now.   I have turned into an angry mommy with the children.  I don't want to be like that to them.  I really don't want to be like that when I have so little time left to be with them before I have to be gone all the time too.  James cried to me several times today because John did not come by tonight or yesterday.  I am worried about him feeling abandoned when John will be gone and then I will be gone too.  James is all ready asking me to come to my room and lay down my bed next to me.  He snuggles close and I let him play the Kindle.  It makes him happy and I enjoy the time with him but this is something he has never done before.

I know my anger is related to me being stressed, depressed and anxious. Why shouldn't I be?  I have about 10 days to be out of my home.  I am not fully packed.  I have no help in getting packed.  I have no place to put my stuff even if it was packed.  I am not sure what I will be able to take with me.  I have no idea where we are going and I am worried we will be homeless.  I don't know who will be watching my children, how I am going to be able to pay for it and how/when I am going to be able to start my new job.   There are just so many things in the air. I may need to see a doctor for something to help me control the stress and anger.  This is a lot to be going through!