Is It Sunday All Ready?

When the children are not here my weekends fly by SO fast!!!  I was packing last night for while and I got side tracked.  As I was pulling out boxes and looking through things I found a brown manila envelope.When I looked into it I started to cry.  I had COMPLETELY forgotten about this packet of information the hospital sent me regarding Martha's death.  It had her record of birth, baptism certificate, hand and footprints, snippet of her hair and some pictures the NICU nurses took of her.  I cried and cried.  I don't remember ever seeing these pictures.  I might not have until now.  I got the envelope just after she passed away and it was just too much for me to deal with.  Her hand prints are so tiny a half dollar would easily cover them up. She was just so small.  They all were at birth! I included one of the pictures the nurses took on Martha's page.   I spent the rest of my evening crying and scanning in the pictures and documents.



At the start of the weekend John had asked me for some more Pedisure for Joseph  and Margaret.  I said ok.  I gave him one case of the Pedisure.  That is 4 6-packs.  He took my car this weekend since I was not ready to move.  So I was left with his car.  The front and back seats were FULL of stuff.  The floorboard of the passenger's side of the car was filled with food trash up to the height of the seat.  When I stopped to fill up his car I cleaned the floorboard out.  I filled up the trash can at the gas station!  Then I filled up his car with gas.  The total came to about $50. I thought it was no big deal since I would just ask him to pay me for the gas that was left in the car when I gave it back to him.  I ran around town and on Sunday I went to the grocery store to get what groceries I could on WIC and pick up a few other things.  One of the WIC items is the 30 6-packs of Pedisure.  I got it from the store and went to put the 7.5 cases in John's car.  I opened John's trunk and I find 2 cases and a 6-pack of Pedisure in there.  I have him that Pedisure over a month ago.  So that means the milk-based Pedisure has been in his trunk, in the heat, for the last month.  I would not feed it to the children!  So he has ruined 9 6-packs of the Pedisure.  That makes me SO mad when he knows we will be losing WIC in December because the children will turn 5 years old. I cannot afford to buy the Pedisure myself.  It costs about $10 per 6-pack!  So he essentially wasted $90.  It makes me SO mad I am thinking about asking him to pay me the money so I can go buy some more!  Plus what has John been feeding Margaret and Joseph over the last two months when they have been over there?

Then tonight I forgot to talk to him about the gas in his car. I message him.  I ask him for $25 since I left a little more than half a tank of gas in the car.  At first he did not believe me that I put it in there.  I showed him the charge on my account.  Then he tried to tell me I made a "poor decision" by putting the gas in the car.  What "poor decision" did I make?  Trusting that he would be fair and pay me the money for the gas left in his car?  He did finally agree to give me the money but he is not going to pay me now.  He said I would have to wait until his next pay check.  Why is that?  He would have had to put money in his car for gas to get to work.  Now I have to wait when he knows I do not have money?  Whatever! Last time I try to do something nice.  I will just leave him his car in the condition I found it. If it's empty I will leave it empty.

This week I have to be more productive in packing but that should be easier because we really do not have any more doctor or therapy appointments.  We have the blood draw EARLY in the morning on Tuesday but otherwise I think our week is pretty clear this week. I will be lining things up for the garage sale.  Got to sale what I can for the money!

Thursday night when John came over to see the children I told him about Joseph having a lump on the back of his neck (swollen lymph node), foul smelling breath and sore on his bottom gum under the front teeth we had pulled.  He never even asked how Joseph was doing or what was going on!  I took Joseph to the dentist on Friday at noon.  I was smart this time and took a change of clothes for Margaret remembering how she vomited all over the place last time I took her to the dentist for Joseph's appointment.  We get there and Margaret crawls into the chair whining...lol.  The dental assistant and I told her to get out of the chair.  The assistant said, " Get out of the chair Margaret before you get sick."  LOL  I put Joseph in the chair. The dentist came in and looked at Joseph and she declared the sore in Joseph's mouth is a canker sore.  If you look at possible causes of canker sores it can be an autoimmune issues and/or a vitamin or mineral deficiency (iron, folic acid or vitamin B-12).  Very interesting when these are some of the symptoms I have mentioned before that concern me about Joseph.  Margaret did good too because she never got sick.  Makes me SO happy not to clean barf!

When I get the children from John tonight John said the kids were all fed and full.  I always fix them something to eat anyways but they rarely eat much.  Tonight I had fixed James a large cup of some Gatorade and Joseph and Margaret a bottle.  They immediately drank it.  I fixed them another cup and bottle.  They drank it too. I was surprised!  They seemed like they were dehydrated or something.  Then I asked James if he would like some pizza.  Papa Johns was running a special where you could buy $10 worth of stuff from them and then get a free large pizza.  What a great deal!  I was able to get two medium pizzas with three toppings and have the ability to get a large three topping pizza later for free.  Since James LOVES pizza I know this will make him happy!  I asked if he would like a slice of pizza.  He said yes.  I thought he would only eat one piece.  He ate the first piece and then asked for a second.  I was surprised but gave it to him.  He came back and asked for a THIRD piece!  I had given a slice to Margaret and she was not eating it so I told James he could have her slice.  The next thing I know James asked for a FOURTH piece!  I told him no!  I said he had three pieces and he had eaten as much as mommy had so he could have no more.  He was sad about it and argued for a bit but he gave up.  He had NEVER tried eating so much pizza before!  For someone who was suppose to have been fed he was starving!

When I went to change Margaret's and Joseph's diaper tonight they both have a red booty.  So I asked John what happened.  He said he had no idea.  I also asked why there was a large bruise on James' head.  I was told James was running around the house and ran into Joseph.  I am not sure where Joseph was bonked in the head but James was very evident with the huge bruise!

So in one weekend I get the children back and they seem dehydrated, hungry and bruised/rashes.  What in the world was John doing this weekend with the children???  It seems like they were neglected (at least today) and not being supervised very well.  I am glad to have them back home!

Last day of July....

And boy am I GLAD to see July come to an end!

Since John left I had to take care of the children by myself. After John telling me he was leaving it was an emotional weekend with no room to take a breathe and gather myself. On Monday, July 9th, Margaret had an appointment at the dentist. That was JUST the start of one of the WORST days of my ENTIRE LIFE!!! She had pointed out to me her front left tooth was loose (thanks to Yo Gabba Gabba...lol). With the recent abscess from Joseph's dead front teeth I was concerned. So poor Dr. Sina was the dentist we went to see. Margaret did pretty well for her during the exam part. She sat in the dental chair and cried VERY little! I was SO proud of her!

All was going well until the dental assistant went to take a couple of x-rays of her front teeth. Margaret gagged a little but not too bad. I thought I was in the clear. She got up from the dental chair and ran over to me. She had a pale pallor to her skin and I was concerned. I called to her but she detoured at the last minute and headed to a narrow hallway where the appointment setter works. She stops suddenly and projectile vomits. Two bad things about this. One is that I fed her 90 minutes earlier and she should not have been able to vomit so much. The second problem was the appointment setter gets ill easily and he RAN out of the reception area. I felt sorry for her. Luckily Margaret missed vomiting on her clothes and she only got a small amount on her shoes. That was perfect since it was easy to clean her up.

Then I left there and had appointments at two different attorneys to discuss my impending divorce. The first attorney I went to said I had an excellent case to gain sole custody of my children. I was pleased and I liked the attorney well enough. The second attorney was was heading across town to make the second appointment I called the office only to be told they could not see me. Sigh! So I turned the car around and headed home. I make it home at about 2pm after leaving the house at 9am. I arrived home and opened the front door using my key. I walk in and the children go in. They did not want to stay outside because it was SUPER hot that day. The next thing I know I hear James say the TV is gone. I was talking to my friend as I walked in the door and I walk over to where the TV sits and I see it is gone. My first though was that John came back and took the TV. Then I walk back to my bedroom and I see my jewelry box sitting out on my bed instead of being at the top of my closet. ALL the jewelry was gone! Including the jewelry that was in a baby wipe container that held my nicest jewelry. I easily lost $7,000 in jewelry that I had collected over 20 years AND the inheritance of my children. I called the police and at first I was mad. As I was filling out the missing property report I could not think. Most of the jewelry I had not worn in YEARS because of the babies. Then I started to cry. I was so stressed out that night and I was scared to sleep at home. Who ever did this has to either live close to my house or goes by it on a regular basis. That is how they knew I was gone but for someone just to hit my house for the jewelry and my TV they must have been in here before or know me. That was ALL that was taken. My laptop was left behind, my prescription pills and some other moderately valued electronic stuff that was small.

Then to round out the day my husband was trying to force (or at least I felt that way) me to agree to divorce stipulations that I was not happy with. I went to speak to his friend that evening with him and I had to start my car. It was not wanting to start. It was 114 degrees outside and the car was acting like it was fried. I tried to start it again and it did start but then the air conditioner did not work, the odometer (electric) did not work and neither did the speedometer. It was tough to drive 30 minutes across town with Margaret, Joseph and myself in a van with no A/C in 144 degree heat. When we got there I was lightly sunburned and we were all beet red due to the heat. By the time our discussion with John's friend ended thankfully my car had cooled and so had the weather so my car started right up and everything worked. I was grateful for that small miracle after such a tragic and awful day!

July 10th it was MY turn at the dentist. I have a MAJOR problem now with getting dental work because I seem not to be able to numb up with lidocaine. This makes ALL dental work at least kinda painful. I was able to convince John to take the children for part of the day for the first time since he left. I was a welcome relief from them but getting dental work cancelled that out...lol. The dentist knows of my problem and made sure he numbed me up SUPER well. I had enough lidocaine that my face was numb up to my eyes. It felt WEIRD! I had two cavities drilled and refilled. They were both large. They stated out as tiny pinprick cavities 20 years ago and now the tooth is all most gone. The next time I will have to get crowns on the teeth. :( I also had two teeth sealed. They will probably be the ONLY two teeth I have when I am old! LOL At the end of the drilling I was feeling the dentist drill. It was not too bad though. It took until the end of the day for all the lidocaine to wear off! When I got home the children were wondering what was wrong with me...lol.

On Wednesday July 11th I had feeding therapy for Joseph and while I was in the area I had an appointment with another divorce attorney. John was telling me I did not have a good case for the divorce and I thought I did. I went to another attorney to get another opinion. The last attorney told me the same thing. I had a good case. That made me relieved.

On the 12th I only had therapy for Margaret and Joseph. It was a nice break compared to the other days. July 13th John took the children for the weekend for the first time. It was nice. So Saturday I had an appointment with the Aveda school and got my hair done. It was SO nice. I needed that SO bad after all the stress of the divorce, the break-in of my home, and having the children for awhile without much of a break.

I got the children back Sunday evening and on Monday I had a WIC appointment but I could not make it to the recertification appointment. Tuesday the 17th I did not have any appointments. Thanks goodness! On the 18th Joseph had an appointment with Dr. Sina, the dentist, to clean the heavy tarter build-up on his back teeth. The tarter is so heavy because he does not chew food so the teeth do not have the tarter scraped off of them. So I took him in for his cleaning. He did SO good in sitting in the chair. When the dentist came in I sat Joseph in the dental chair, James in a small child's chair and Margaret in the stroller. I thought this was a good idea but I was horribly wrong! As the dentist started to clean Joseph's teeth Margaret became upset. I saw her stick her hands into her mouth and then the next thing I know she vomited EVERYWHERE! Vomit was in her hair, down her shirt, on her pants and she filled the bottom of the stroller with vomit so the back of her pants were soaked too. I was not prepared for that by ANY means! NEVER though she would get sick with Joseph having the dental appointment!

I had to go and leave Joseph alone while I took Margaret and James to the bathroom and try to clean up all the mess. I was able to get her shirt off without getting more barf in her hair. I rinsed out her hair and then I tried to tackle her clothes. I rinsed them off in the sink using soap and water. By the time I got everything clean her shirt and pants were completely soaked and there was no hand dryer in the bathroom not to mention that a hand dryer would have completely upset Margaret. So I did the only thing I could do. I dumped the barf in the stroller out and then tried to rinse the stroller in the sink but that was not going to happen...lol. Just would not fit. :/ I had to walk Margaret out of the dentist office with just her shoes and diaper on...LOL! The dentist was kind enough to offer me a gown for her but I said I was not worried about it. We only had a short way to walk to the car and then I was going to strap her in and take her to the house to get more clothes. I had JUST enough time to get home, grab clothes for her and then race across town to Joseph's feeding appointment. I just made it in time to walk through the door by the time I got Margaret into her change of clothes. What a wild day! By the time I got back out to my car the stroller I had rinsed out and her clothes were making my car reek of barf due to the warm weather. I was GLAD to get home! I got the clothes into the washing machine and the stroller I set up outside and then used the hose and some dish soap to get it clean. Then I left it in the sun for two days to make sure the smell would be gone.

That evening John came over and stayed so he could take me to watch the children because on July 19th I went to have carpal tunnel surgery done on my right hand. I have been having carpal tunnel issues for the last 20 years but it had gotten so bad that I could not drive, fill out a form, sew on a button or do anything that required me to grip something without my hand falling asleep. I had been tough! So I hoped surgery would solve my problem. I dove myself to the surgery center EARLY in the morning. I get there and I am nervous. I was able to settle my nerves until the nurses were trying to put an IV into the back of my hand. I just do not have good veins there especially on my left hand. So they stuck me once and it did not work so another nurse tried. She got blood but it would not flow. She was moving the needle around and I cried out in pain and starting crying. They think they were on a valve. I don't know besides it was SUPER painful so they stopped. All most the ENTIRE back of my hand was bruised for a week. The anesthesiologist came out and stuck me in my arm and got it at once. I was glad there was NO more torture!

I was wheeled in and got on the surgical bed. The anesthesiologist knocked me out. I work up later. The surgery was really short. My hand was wrapped up and I was woozy that first day but otherwise I felt fine. The next day I watched the children for a few hours while John took a nap. The children have been gone for the most part. I have had them over on Thursday and Sunday nights so that John can get up early and go workout with his trainer. Then I kept the children for 4 hours the day after my surgery, I kept them for another 4 hours one day after John got back from working out and Saturday (28th) I kept the children all most all day (10am to 7:30pm). By Saturday John was starting to beg for mercy from the children. I love the little munchkins so much but the can wear you out. I asked John if he understood why I could not do school work at night after taking care of the children all day and he said yes so I agreed to take the children on Saturday. :) I have an appointment with the hand doctor on August 1. Recovery for my carpal tunnel surgery has been difficult and I have had a lot of pain in my hand. Even now I have pain often when I move my thumb. It hurts. I am hoping he will say it is all normal and will heal great. I did have the surgeon tell me that my surgery went well and the carpal tunnel was under extreme compression. I am hoping I got the surgery done in time to keep permanent damage from happening to my nerves in my hand.

To wrap things up on the divorce end John and I are going to try and work things out so currently the divorce has been dropped. We will go the couples therapy and see if we can stay together because having disabled surviving quads we will probably ALWAYS have to deal with each other until we die. It would be easier to do that if we were able to stay together and work in unison for the children than work against one another.

Still grateful the month of July has ended! One of the worst months of my life!