It's all Bon Bons from here - Part II

OK, it has been so long now I have forgotten all I was doing this morning...lol.  I know I took out all the trash.  I have a ton of it since I am moving.  Pack and organized things for the dentist appointment.  I folded and packed away some of my clothes.  I know there are other things but I just don't remember.

We did make it to the dentist.  I know Margaret has a problem with barfing at the dentist office.  They now even have it in her file...LOL!!!!   So we went back and Margaret was only sitting in the chair.  She was whining and starting to cough.  I KNEW if they did an x-ray, which I heard them talking about, she WAS going to barf!  So I thought I would be smart and tell them to bring a bag in before they do the x-ray so she could barf in it but as I was started to say that Margaret coughed again and barfed all over herself.    Of course, I did not think to take extra clothes with me.  What kind of mom would I have been if I was super organized and thoughtful like that?   *rolling eyes* So I helped the technician clean off the barf.  Margaret calmed down.  The dentist came in and looked at Margaret (no x-ray...lol).  The dentist found two huge sores in the back of her mouth.  So that was the problem!  Thank goodness it was not a tooth!  The dentist asked me if she had something in her mouth recently since the sore was one on the upper gum and one on the lower gum.  I said with her being autistic there is no telling what she may have done.  Sadly, I JUST do not know!  I was told to try and keep her mouth as clean as possible and not to feed her foods that are salty or acidic.  Good to know so I packed the kids up and headed home.  By the time I got home my car was starting to stink of barf.  Good time to get out...lol  

Once home I changed Margaret's clothes and called my mom to tell her the news.  Then we talked for a bit while I spent time making a list of people to call tomorrow and things I have to do.  Tonight I made an appointment at 6AM (UGH!!!) for a blood draw for myself and Joseph.  Oh, what fun we will have on the morning of the 18th!

So for tomorrow I have on my list of things to do...

• Call the WIC office again in Arizona
• Call UCLA and bother them
• Call the pulmonologist and set an appointment for Joseph
• Get an appointment with my general doctor so I can make sure I have what I need before I leave Vegas
• Get an appointment with the pediatrician after the 25th (when I will have a little more money) to see the kiddos and get any medical and other clearances I need.
• Talk to the school district about the kids IEPs
• Call and speak to the Desert Regional Center and let them know I am leaving. Get any information they have so I can hopefully hand-deliver it to the Division of Developmentally Disabilities in Arizona. 
• Get paperwork to get a new birth certificate for me.  Can't find mine.
• Call the homeless shelter again
• Send an email to a new friend to see if she can help me. Thanks Monica!

I am sure their are other things but I can't remember right now.  Tonight John will stop by and visit with the kids for a bit.  It is going to be devastating to James when we move away from John.  It makes me sad but I will see about getting him into therapy.  When John comes by I will leave to put gas in my car and buy some groceries.  I will miss that help too.  I HATE taking the children to the store.  They are normally great for me right up until I have to check out.  Then they go nuts!  I will miss being able to go out by myself to grocery shop.  Maybe I can find another mom and we could swap child watching for a bit?  Maybe?

Tomorrow I will try and scan more pictures and pack.  I will try and not stress over too much and just enjoy my bon bons...lol.  

It's all Bon Bons from here...

The bon bon thing is a running joke between another mommy of a disabled child and myself.  We joke all the time about how we are unappreciated for all the work we do and the guys in our lives (my husband (soon-to-be ex I guess) and her baby daddy) think we are just sitting around the house eating bon bons all day.

So far this morning I have gotten up and fixed the children breakfast, fed them, put up the dishes and put those dishes into the dishwasher. Then came back to the office and checked my email.  Talked to my mother to catch up on what is going on with my immediate family while I was cooking,  I got a call but I ignored it.  When I checked the call in the computer room (had to wait until then b/c the kids were fed and watching TV so I can make calls in peace).  It was Roni from the insurance company telling me that Dr. Sheih DOES work on pediatric patients.  All I can say is that is NOT what the receptionist told me.  She said she did not understand why no appointment had been made and did not know why I was having such a problem.  Well, to be honest Roni, I have NO idea either!  I will have to call UCLA later today and see what I can find out.  I then called Liberty National trying to find out why I am paying $17 and $18.25 for a couple of policies.  I had to wait on hold for about 15 minutes.  Then I got to talk to someone.  She had to look up the information and so did I for that matter to help her find the policy.  I found out that the $17 policy is a life insurance policy for Joseph.  With all of his medical issues it is practically impossible to get any type of coverage on him.  So, for now, I will keep it.  The other policy is a Family Hospital and Accident policy.  Again, for now, I will keep it.  It is actually a good policy and will pay out if we are in an accident or need to be hospitalized.

Next I called my soon-to-be boss.  I am still trying to get the job offer letter.  When I called I got his voice mail again so I left another message.  I have called a WIC office in Arizona trying to see how I transfer service.  So far I have called twice this morning.  I left a message once and the other time I hung up.  Yesterday Margaret was crying and telling me her teeth hurt.  Then she said her cavity hurt.  I am sure this is from Yo Gabba Gabba (the verbage she is using) but I know the pain is real.  She went to bed last night without complaint so I was hoping that was the end of the issue.  This morning when I was trying to feed her she was in pain again.  She even asked to go to the Target medicine cabinet...lol.  Target is where we get our prescriptions filled so I am sure that is where that come from.  I gave her some pain medicine.  I called the dentist and I got her an appointment to be seen today.  We have to leave the house in 30 minutes to get there on time.

So far I have even taken time to write this post.  I will have to come back later.  Just think I did all of this and MORE, much more, since 8:00am this morning.  Don't have the time to write all about it...lol!

Bon Bons and Birthdays!

Money is not a problem until you don't have any ~ 

This is a quote by me....lol.  Having money is great but when you do not have enough of it life becomes tough.  I have a $400 electric bill that I have to pay.  I am going to make rent for September.  It made my landlord happy since I did not pay her for July and August because I just did not have the money. Currently everything is still on but no telling how long that will last.   I have asked several people for help financially but no luck so far. It sucks being poor.

 On a positive front I have been offered a job to work for the State of Arizona. Yea!!!  This is a great job for me.  There are logistical problems like paying for a sitter to watch my children, moving to Arizona in the first place, where will we live?  I do not start my job until the middle to end of October so I am actually thinking about living in a homeless shelter for a month or two.  I have to get money in first before I can pay anything out.  I don't know what I am going to do but that is another problem what will have to wait until tomorrow.  If I think about everything now then I will just get scared about this fantastic opportunity. 

I may be going to Arizona in the beginning of October because I need to get down there a bit early to scout things out and see what aid I can get for the children and myself.  For the first month or two we will be down there we will be DIRT poor.  Once I get going in my job and get a paycheck coming in then most things should straighten themselves out.  If anyone knows about disability services and such in Arizona please let me know!

In the meantime I will try to enjoy my bon bons because I have a lot to celebrate.  My birthday is coming up soon, right after the Labor Day weekend, so I am hoping to have a good time in Las Vegas before I have to leave my beloved city.  I am hoping I will learn to love Arizona as much as I have loved Vegas. 

Living in Flux and Eating Bon Bons

At the moment I think it would take me less time to tell you, my reader, the few things that are the same in my life but I am going to try and cover as many as I can in the post.  First is my living arrangement.  My husband, since he has dropped the divorce, is still out of the house the kids and I live in.  With the money I am getting from John along with the what little money I am getting from SSI I am not able to cover all my bills.  So I have been applying for jobs all over the country.  The way things are looking are: 1) move back in with John (which he does not want and really, neither do I)  (2) become homeless (not literally but I would be stuck in a cheap hotel) or (3) find a job.

For me getting a job would be great because I would LOVE to have a job and make my own money. This is especially true if I am able to land a job that is related to what I have been slaving over graduate school for the last two years. On that note, I have had two interviews.  One for the State and another for the Federal government.  I would LOVE to have either job!  They are both in my field and are RIGHT in line with the master's degree I have been working towards for the last two years.  I am hoping to hear something soon.

In the meantime I am trying to hang on to my house in Vegas.  Moving the children is hard on them.  I would like to just move once, for my job, than move several times.  On that note though I had an interesting development on Monday.  John had dropped off the children on Sunday and talked about how much they had loved attending church and what a great time everyone had.  I was happy for them all but I told John that  he could not take the children to church (an in return Sunday class) after school started.  He just looked at me.  I said he could not do that because of the risk of exposure to Joseph for respiratory diseases.  Then he said that I was asking him to give up church.  I said I was not.  I was just asking him not to go to church every other Sunday morning when he had the children.  Otherwise he was free to go to church as much as he liked.  He could go Sunday night, Wednesday night, Tuesday night for his group stuff and every other Sunday morning.  He was upset with me but I thought that was going to be the end of the story.

On Monday evening he comes by to see the children and to put them to bed.  When he comes in he says he has some good news.  I am think that sounds promising.  Then he says, "Well, I think it is good news but I am not sure you will think so."  At that moment I KNEW I was about to be PISSED off.  I did not even bother looking at him.  I just waited for him to say what he was going to say.  He tells me that he had called Joseph's pulmonologist without my knowledge and spoke to him over the phone.  He said he wanted to take Joseph to church and asked for clearance to do it.  The part of this story that boggles my mind the most is that the pulmonologist gave John the clearance without seeing Joseph!!!  So when I looked at John and said I would like to see some proof he smiled and pulled out a note on a prescription pad note that said Joseph could go to church.  To say I was angry would be a gross understatement!  I yelled at John.  He said he did not understand why I would not be happy that Joseph could go more places.  I asked him if he had even been aware of what was going on in the past year.  How could he really?  He spent most of his time away to avoid me and somewhat the children!  When he was home we rarely spoke.

I tried to calm down and explain it to John again.  Joseph has MANY medical issues and his hypotonia, narrow trachea, tracheomalacia and low weight make ANY respiratory illness for him dangerous.  Then John pointed out the 4 colds that Joseph has had in the last two years.  Yes, Joseph has had four colds and recovered from all of them well.  I told him that was not the point.  During the winter all sorts of nasty stuff floats around including the flu and RSV.  THAT is what I am concerned about.  John asked why I was getting so upset.  It was not like he was sick or something.  I told him not yet but in my opinion he was playing Russian roulette with our son's health.  I was SO angry that I had to leave.   I could not stay in my house any longer.

The next day I called the pulmonologist's office.  They want NOTHING more to do with me now because of this crap.  I called and told them that John and I were separated and he did this behind my back.  I wanted to know what was going on.  The nurse said John had called and left a message for clearance for Joseph on Monday.  His doctor gave it to him but did not know the entire story like John placed Joseph into a child care class with 4 or 5 other one to two year olds.  I said with John doing that I might as well just place Joseph in a daycare or school myself.  The nurse said John did not mention this.  The clearance for church was for Joseph to attend church and sit beside John in the auditorium and NOT for him to be in any sort of class with children.  The doctor's office was NOT happy to be informed that they were being used in this power play John was pulling and threatened not to see Joseph any more.  SO NOT PLEASED WITH JOHN!!!

The next day I told John I called up the pulmonologist's office to get clarification on what was going on.  I said he could take Joseph to church, which I did not agree with, but he would HAVE to keep Joseph with him.  Then John gets completely mad at me and says a lot of things but the one that hurt the most was telling me to leave.  I want to stay and work out things with him but with him going behind my back and putting Joseph's health at risk along with his attitude I am not sure I can.  He basically said I would not allow him to parent and he was basically just money and a babysitter to me so I should leave and go to California.

I did not know what to say really.  I did yell at him about saying he was babysitting for me.  I said he was taking his time with his children and NOT babysitting for me.  What a joke!  So we argued about that and I said he can give up his rights to see the children whenever he wanted and I would keep them.  I did not need him to "babysit" and I would just keep them.  Then he got defensive and said I could not keep him from seeing his children.  Yet, apparently, if he takes them, then he is babysitting for me.  WHATEVER!!!   So when I have the children am I babysitting for him???  How absurd!!!

So now our relationship is strained and he has told me to go.  I am not sure what I am going to do.  I guess this is just another problem I will have to wait and see how it plays out.  Then there is school.  I have my last class I am suppose to take.  I started the class August 6th but I dropped out on the 19th so I could get a 100% tuition refund.  I just found out that I will not be able to sign up for the class again until December.  In some ways this is good.  There is a REALLY good chance I will be moving (for work or to California), having to set up the kids services again, get settled into a job (hopefully), find someone to play wife for me (cleaning house and taking care of ALL of the children's activities), do research on my topic for my paper AND most importantly figure out HOW to collect data and write a research paper in the SHORT time frame of my class.   You know, I have nothing going on really.  I just sit around and eat bon bons.

Today it has RAINED, RAINED and RAINED!  I even had the feeding therapist tell me NOT to come to therapy session today because there were wide spread reports of flooding and their parking lot was flooded.  I have never had a therapist cancel my appointment!  The roof in the house has a leak and I have had to empty a large bowl three times.  The most water I had ever had in the bowl was 3/4 full.  I think the rain has finally died off.  It was a nice break though from all the heat and sunshine.

So that basically all going on in my life.  I guess I could talk about the lack of money (had to sell my sofa), lack of food in the house (I will be eating popcorn for dinner. Kids ALWAYS get feed!), the air conditioner in my van does not always work and the brakes need to be fixed, or that I have NO idea how I am going to get the money to move.  I shall not worry though.  Those problems can wait until tomorrow and I will go back now to eating my bon bons...lol.