Countdown to Homelessness: 9 Days

Photo Credit: pective.com

Who needs a daytime soap opera when you can just read about my life?  Isn't my life at least as interesting as a soap opera?  The only difference is my life is oh SO very real!   There is no one to say, "Cut!  Time for an edit. Let's get the writers together and redo this script!"  It would be nice if that were true.  Or better yet the Easy button from Staples.  If that thing really worked I would get my hands on one now!  LOL    After having my mini-meltdown yesterday I am better.  How could I not be when James is worried about me?

James saw me crying this morning.  Our conversation went something like this...

James: Why are you sad mommy?
Me:  I was just reading something on the computer James and it made me sad.  It's ok. (I lied but the truth is too complex to explain and it is not something for him to worry about.)
James: Don't be sad.  It will be better tomorrow.  (Don't know where he got that from!)
Me: It will be, won't it James!
James: Yes. I'm gonna give you a BIG hug.  I just love you everyday.  (That all most made me cry again...lol)

James can be a terror but he does have such a sweet side to him.  It's amazing!

I got myself together and stopped by the welfare office.  I was not kicked out but that was because I was not there long.  I was told I had to fill out the application form.  It is 20 pages or so.  I had to bring back some proof that John was no longer in the house with me (since we are still legally married), everyone's birth certificates and social security cards, my bank statement, proof of SSI benefits, title to my car and I can't even remember what else.  I got a list...lol.  I knew I would not get any help from them soon for my electric.  My electric was going to get shut off Monday.

I called the electric company.  I spoke to a lady there and she said I had to pay the past due balance of $407.00 by Monday or it was going to get shut off.  I told her I only had $70 to my name.  The soonest I would have any money is the 25th.  She said she could give me until the 28th to pay but I would have to pay half the total balance.  So by the 28th I have to pay about $360.00.  At most I will get $700 from John so that will take at least half of my money until the first of the month.  Then I will get the social security disability for the children and I will have $625 to get to Phoenix, have food, gas and a place to live until the 10th.  I need about $200 for food and diapers, $100 at least for gas so that leaves me $300 for a place to live. Impossible, no, but VERY difficult!  This does not take into account moving or storing any of our stuff.

Photo Credit: OneYearBibleBlog.com

The lady at the electric company said I should call 211 (the state number for referring to community services).  I called the 211 number and told the operator that I needed help with energy assistance.  The operator was straight up and said, "I am sorry but the community partners we refer people to are out of money.  You can call back next month and see if any of them will have any money then."  I am feeling like my life is the Story of Job.  I very much feel like this verse on the right.  I will complain because I have lost all hope.  What else beside complaining do I have?

I still have not heard back from the lady at the regional center here.  I am glad she is so concerned about me and my family.  The days are counting down.  There still is no plan.  My life rather sucks at the moment.

Countdown to Homelessness: 10 days

I have been writing this blog and detailing my experiences.  I have a badge on the right of the screen where I have been trying to raise money to keep the children and I from being homeless but so far I have only been able to raise $55.00.  Thank you to those that have contributed!  I had over 3,800 page views in the last month.  If everyone had contributed just $10 I am sure I would have reached my fundraising goal by now or close to it.  Please contribute if you can!

I was recently reading a post from a Facebook friend about how she has felt "let down" by her friends.  That she had been sick and in the hospital for all most two weeks and during that time only one friend called to check on her.  That was it.  When I read her post I was sad but I understood her feelings.

Here I am, a well educated woman, with three disabled children and I am about to find myself homeless.  I am fortunate in that my homeless situation should not last forever because I have been offered a job but that does not make the experience any less frightening or anxious.  Today I have been feeling so anxious that I feel nauseous. 

I have a few friends in town that know the situation I am in and none of them have offered to help (they are older though so I am not sure how much they could physically do).  The part that bothers me most though is hearing them say, "Don't worry Michelle.  You are a good person and things will turn out okay."  I am sorry but I missed where that happens in real life.  If anything I commonly see good people suffer all sorts of horrible things.  I think that is why I like talking to my friend Krissi lately.  She knows where I am.  She has been though it herself.  The only fortunate thing for her is that she never got as far as losing her house but it was close.  When I speak to her she offers me no false hope.  It is refreshingly nice.  

When I spoke to my mother tonight I was told God will help to make it happen and don't give up because somehow the money will appear.  Really?  So far the answer is, "No, it's not."  I have tried calling my oldest son, who is currently unemployed, to help me but his fiance is pregnant.  She will not let him leave her to come and help me.  Another possibility is my uncle.  He is an alcoholic and drug addict but is currently on the straight and narrow.  Should I risk my children being with him?  I don't want to and I am not sure he would even come anyways.  Random strangers answering an ad?  Even scarier thought but what choice do I have?

That is me up above.  I am a woman defeated.  You see me with tears in my eyes, dirty from sweating all day packing and tired.  I don't know how to stop the train wreck that is my life at the moment.  I have to be out of my current house at the end of the month.  I am facing having my electricity shut off on Monday.  I am hoping I can convince the electric company to leave it on for a bit.  At this point I owe them $700 for two months electric and a deposit.  I am sure I will have to pay them but that will cut into the money I need to move and survive for next month.  All I have done this evening is cry.  When I got back John did not offer to do anything to help me get to the welfare office.  I am on my own.  You have NO idea what the welfare office is like here.  People never bring little children in because they will kick you out.  It is the craziest thing I have ever seen but that is what happens.  The respite provider I have been using has taken a full-time job so she cannot help me.  She gave me the names of two other women but one said she would not watch my three children alone.  She said they were too much for her.  The other lady would not answer.  

I have reached out to the local regional center and this is the email exchange...

Hi Michelle,

I am doing quarterly updates on the kids. Could you please tell me how each kid is doing in terms of health, school, and additional services (speech, physical therapy, and Occupational therapy).

Also in order to receive respite for the next quarter, I need to know the name of the provider that you have been working with and whether or not respite has been helpful.

Thanks so much for your time

This will be pretty easy. SO far the children have, overall, been healthy. We had several trips to the dentist but so far things haven been good.

I have not signed the children up for school services for this year.

The kids had been going to private therapy. Margaret had been going to occupational therapy and Joseph has been in physical therapy. A month ago Joseph started to walk. His walking is very unsteady and wide legged but he is making it.

My husband left us in July. The children and I have been trying to make it but we are going to be homeless at the end of the month. I am not sure what we are going to do so therapy has stopped for now.

Respite has pretty much been a no go. I cannot find someone to come to my house to watch the children. The lady I had been using has found a job so she can only watch the children on Saturdays. That is not when I need someone. The other numbers I have called and no one seems to answer, want to watch so many children, or in town any longer.

That should catch you up.

Thanks,
Michelle

Thank you so much for the update. I am very sorry for your current housing dilemma. I can send you a list of community resources that may be of some assistance. Quarterly respite is due and I need to know if you would like me to take the kids off the list. If you do not anticipate using the respite voucher, then I will have to take them off the regular list so that children on the waitlist can use the respite. Please let me know ASAP so I can notify the respite coordinator. Sincerely.

The list of community housing resources would be useful. Please send that information. I want to use the rest of the respite voucher for this month. So please send the most recent list of respite providers. As for next month take us off the respite list.

I have not completely decided yet but we may move to Arizona at the end of the month.

Thanks,
Michelle

I know, I know. I lied to her (only about leaving for AZ) at the end but it is only because I want to see what she would do. So far I have not heard back from her and I sent her my response yesterday. Notice she did not say she would HELP me find a place.  Our regional center is basically useless.   : (  

Not sure what I am going to do tomorrow but I guess I will start off with calling the electric company and seeing what I can do.  The countdown to homelessness has begun...

PS.  To add insult to injury today I just realized that the little outfit the nurses sent home to me that Martha wore is NOT right.  She did not wear those clothes.  I realized it today when I came across the box with the outfit in it.  When I found the picture the NICU nurses took that day of Martha I knew as soon as I saw the romper again that was NOT what she wore.  I never had her little clothes.  :' (